Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close,~Psalm 27:10.
…I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually—regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of the age,~Matthew 28:20 (Amplified Version).
One of the things people think of the unmarried is they battle with significant loneliness. I want to let you in on a little secret, there are married people who have the same struggle.
Over the years I have encountered numerous married people who feel alone in their marriage. They have someone to live with them, yet the other person is more like a roommate.
These are some real quotes from married women.
“He’s more interested in video games than he is in me.”
“I feel like I am living with a big child. I just take care of everything.”
“There is nothing worse than rolling over next to someone not interested in you.”
“My husband changed the moment I said ‘I do.'”
“I spend most of my time by myself.”
I highly recommend each person maintain their relationship with God, let it go deeper, and maintain community.
I have seen roughly 60% of the couples married the past 10 years divorce and they did not really maintain friendships with anyone outside of their spouse. They also allowed their relationship with God to fizzle.
Adam did not have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit or other humans. Marriage provided human community. We are meant to have human community and family.
The first stop is God.
There are needs only God can fulfill. He is always present. God never leaves, nor forsakes. God is good. God can fill our love bucket to overflowing. God is to be the primary source of community.
If we have the Holy Spirit, we have full access to God. We have a built in best friend.
The second stop is family/friendships.
I lumped friendships and family together because not everyone has an incredible family that is supportive, loving, or present.
Cultivating healthy, God centered friendships is one way to combat lonliness.
I have had a few people state they struggle with making friends. The only counsel I have is be a good friend. In our world of busyness and look out for yourself, it can be challenging to make genuine friendships. It is not impossible.
Papa God I ask for any person reading this to have authentic, loving, mutual, good, and blessed relationships. I ask for blessed community and that you would bring people into their lives that love them deeply and fully. I ask for iron sharpening iron relationships. I ask for genuine friendships and family (spiritual and natural). May not one person feel excluded, left out, or unloved.
I truly believe we are here to make a difference, not just consume from others and the world.
Psychology Today did a report that stated that those who invest in others feel more joy and connection.
We are not alone in this world. Getting together with others for a greater good is one way to combat loneliness. I am not suggesting we should give for selfish motives. I am saying sitting at home all the time without any human connection, thinking about a marital relationship, is not the best use of time. It is actually a waste of time. There are so many other things that can be done.
Who wants their legacy to be, “Died glued to the couch.”
The truth is even if a person feels alone does not mean they are alone. God is Emmanual (God with us). God also knit every believer into His family. God’s spiritual family has billions of people. There are churches everywhere with connect groups, small groups, and many have community outside Sunday mornings.
I also meet people all the time who say they wish for a friend or community yet they never do the inviting/pursuing. They expect to be pursued, invited. It’s okay to be the one who invites someone else out for coffee or lunch. It is okay to start your own group, club, or organize events. It’s okay to leave the house. The computer and Netflix will be there when you get back home. 🙂
Lord I bless every person reading this series. Help them to see they are never alone. They are wanted, cherished, loved, celebrated, desired, and significant. Bless each person, married or single, with divine connections and deeper intimacy with you. Heal their souls from any loneliness, pain, or feelings of being left out. In Jesus powerful name. Amen!