Choose Reality Over Fantasy (Sacred Sex Series Part III)

  
Image: WordSwag; used with permission. 

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ,~2 Corinthians 10:5. 

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body,~1 Corinthians 6:18. 

God gave us a brain, an imagination, a will, and emotions. These things when purified are a gift. A holy imagination is a great place for God given creativity to be birthed. Our thoughts were meant to align with His so what is birthed out of our soul brings Him glory. Our thoughts are powerful. Our imagination powerful. 

Sin starts with a thought, a seed. “Do this. You deserve this. This will feel good. This will meet your needs.” 

The devil does not tell people, “Giving in to things outside God’s will leads to bondage, addiction, distraction, lust, patnership with the devil, or sin.” He never talks about consequences. He leads people into sin and then laughs at them. 

The serpent did not tell Eve her choice would bring death, sickness, pain, and destruction into the entire world for all of time. He led her to believe God was witholding something good. He does not tell the world today sex outside marriage covenant of a man and woman leads to bondage and opens the door wide open to the demonic. He does not tell people pornography kills love, intimacy, and leads to addiction/sexual dysfunction/demonization. It is fueled by lust and perversion (twisting of God’s truth about sex). He does not tell people sexual fantasies lead to unrealistic expectations that keep people unsatisfied and discontent with their current life. Sexual fantasies also open the door wide open to a spirit of lust. He does not tell anyone undressing someone with the eyes is reducing them to an object to be used, not a person to be loved. 

Live in reality not fantasy…

We live in a world that promotes virtual reality. As long as it’s an image on a screen or character in a book or movie it’s harmless. As long as someone is consenting, it’s okay. What you do with your body is okay. Well, sin always cost someone something. 

Most men who buy sex, even to the point of buying young girls and children (sex trafficking) started with a porn addiction. It started with a fantasy in the mind that developed into a stronghold of lust/perversion/pedophilia/whoredom. 

You may be saying, “It is not that serious. What I meditate on and fantasize about is my business. I am not hurting anyone.” Well our thoughts invite either God or the evil one to build in our soul. Heaven and hell are both looking for human agreement.   

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death,~James 1:13-15. 

They say affairs begin first in the mind, with a thought. “This person can give you something your spouse can not.” It starts with a seed planted. The seed is then watered. Over time if not uprooted, the seed grows into a garden. Lust is fed over and over until it must be acted upon either through self gratification or with someone. 

I have ministered to several women devastated by their husband’s addiction to porn and a few who had spouses who were sleeping with someone else. Some who cheated with someone of the same sex. It all started with a thought, a thought that grew to a fantasy, and then a fantasy that developed into actions. Those actions destroyed marriages, families, children, reputations, witnesses for Christ, churches (in two cases), and so it does matter what we think, meditate on, and fantasize about in our free time. If the mind is filled with fantasies, when is there time for God, prayer, intercession, true love, meditation on His word? 

Keep the heart pure before and after marriage…

Despite popular teaching, marriage does not cure lust any more than going to a bar cures alcoholism. Lust is a heart, soul, and spiritual condition. It is something to be delivered from and the person delivered to purity and love. Love seeks to save the sacred spaces of itself for what fits into God’s will and plan. 

If your thoughts are lustful, if you are trapped in porn or with sexual fantasies. If you are addicted, there is hope! Jesus came to set the captives free. He came for total and not partial freedom. 

Step 1: Prayer/Renouncing/Repenting  

Lord Jesus, thank You that You paid for my sins on the cross. Thank You for the freedom that comes in You. I ask for Your forgiveness for all of my sins including (insert what it is). I ask for total cleansing of my soul from all sin. I apply the blood of Jesus over every wound on my soul from sin. Cleanse every place, every memory, uproot every stronghold. I renounce my agreement with anything and everything not of You.  Ask for Your power to break every single bondage, stronghold, hold on my life. Anything in my soul that’s not of You I command it to leave. Any parts of anyone retained in my emotions, imagination, or soul I release. I renounce the idols of pleasure, sex, self, comfort. Any spirits that are not the Holy Spirit I cancel your assignment and command you to leave and go to Jesus. I forbid you from returning. I ask for a flooding of every place held by darkness with Your love, light, and purity. In Jesus mighty name, amen. 

Step 2: Renew the mind. Praying the scriptures is a great way to start. The mind needs flooded with God’s truth. 

Prayer for Sexual Healing
Daily Prayer with Scriptures
Prayer for Freedom from Habitual Sins
Step 3: Fast and pray. 

Some strongholds require fasting. Fasting involves refraining from food or certain foods for a period of time and involves deeper connection with God through prayer. 

Step 4: Starve the source/kill it at the root.  

What is fed grows, what is starved dies. Media is aimed at fueling sexual thoughts and fantasy. Cut it off. Whatever tempts you, flee from it. I am not saying if an attractive person sits next to you run. I am saying the movies, books, magazines, computer sites, images, and activities that lead you into sin, get them away from you. Set up safeguards for yourself. If you have porn at home, get it out of your house. Get it off your computer. 

If you are married and another person is tempting you, refrain from alone time with them. Refrain from texts, meetings alone. Refrain from having heart to heart’s with them. Set firm boundaries. 

Step 5: Accountability. 

This one can be challenging because who can you trust? Some people will love you. Others may shame you, judge you, or tell everyone your shortcomings. Ask God for a mature, loving person who can and will walk with you. When tempted, you can ask them to pray. 

Step 6: Investigate soul needs. 

We were created for intimacy (to be known and loved). We were designed for affection, attention, encouragement, and affirmation. If those needs are not met in healthy ways, the body will cry out to be fed in unhealthy ways. Love is what the soul wants. The first stop is God. A man or woman’s physical needs for physical intimacy were intended to be met in the covenant (life long committment). If physical intimacy is desired, God designed one outlet (man/woman covenant). 

God can and will calm any person’s desires, drives. Ask Him. 

Step 7: Inner Healing/Deliverance

Dependings on the strength of the stronghold, it may require extra help, prayer ministry. I willl talk more about this in a future post. It is possible to be free and stay free. I have seen Jesus break strong bondages in people’s lives. What He does for one, He will do for another. 

I hope something in this post is a blessing. May each person live in reality, not fantasy. May each heart, mind be cleansed with holy, pure fire of God. May each person have the mind of Christ! 

Blessings, 

Erin 

Agape Love & Intimacy (Sacred Sex Series Part I) 

 

Image created with WordSwag. Used with permission.  
Sex (physical intimacy) was God’s idea. 

It started in a Garden…

The Garden of Eden was free of stress, strain, turmoil, offense, lust, sexual immorality, pain, shame, insecurity, regrets, adultery, all sin. 

God created a lavish, luscious space for humanity. He gave them one boundary (don’t eat from the tree of good and evil or you shall surely die) and provided everything they needed for abundant life. 

Adam had a relationship with God before He ever had a partner/wife. He walked with God. He talked with God. God gave Adam things to do. They had intimacy (knowing of each other). 

One of the purposes for physical intimacy was to deepen oneness, union between man and woman. 

God saw that Adam realized none of the animals looked like him. God created Eve (see Genesis 1). Eve was fashioned out of the rib of man. The first person she saw was God. She was fashioned to be a counterpart to Adam. They are both created in the image of God. They are both human. They are both equal in God’s eyes. Their body parts were designed to fit perfectly together and create life. 

Another purpose of physical intimacy is the creation of a life. Every person on this planet was born. 

If you’ve had any biology you know how babies are created. Men generate sperm. Women house eggs. Sperm+egg=baby. The DNA of the father connects with the DNA of the mother and you have a child. That child shares the DNA of each parent. A lineage is created. God gave human beings the awesome privilege of procreation. 

He created Adam and Eve. He then blessed them and told them, “Be fruitful, multiply! (Genesis 1:28).” Essentially God said create more humans. 

God created physical intimacy for agape love (selfless, sacrificial, pure, faithful, unconditional), unconditional acceptance, and to be known. 

When Adam was presented with His unclothed partner there was no lust or selfishness or sin in him. He admired her as a person. Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man,”~Genesis 2:23. 

Adam prophesied over Eve. It does not say Adam lusted after Eve, sought to take from her. He makes no comment on her body. He was without sin, therefore operating out of love. Love seeks to give. Love sees a person, not an object of pleasure. 

Scripture goes on to say later Adam knew Eve. He was physically intimate with her. This knowing is more than connecting with her flesh.

Sex is more than physical intimacy. It is a connection of the body, soul, spirit. It is saying, “Whatever is in this person, I am inviting into me. We are becoming one spiritually, physically, and connecting soul to soul. We will bond together, imprinting on each other’s soul. This is a place to be unconditionally loved, served, blessed, and known.” 
I have heard people say sex does not connect them deeply to others. This may feel like truth on the conscious level, yet in my experience in the Word of God and ministering deep inner healing with people I have found sex connects people deeper than their mind will admit.  You find people still carrying imprinting on their minds from images of pornography, fantasy novels, scenes on tv, from experiences with past lovers, from their own self pleasure. You find men unable to commit because they are carrying around the imprinting of all the women they have taken from over the years. Lust never satifies. It works the same for women. You find people unsatisfied with their spouse because of their extracurricular sexual activities. 

Sex is like super glue, yet more powerful. It is intended to bond a natural born man and woman for life. When you pry them apart, there is residue (imprinting) from the other that goes with them. There is a tearing that occurs. There are things that have been shared in the spirit and soul that remain. 

Media does not talk about the soul and spirit connections. Media promotes doing whatever feels good. It’s just like eating food. This is very untrue. Sex is more than eating a burger. It’s sharing all of you  with someone. 

Short stories: 

There was Dorothea (not her real name) who began sleeping with her boyfriend who was heavily involved in the occult. Things begin to happen in her life that were paranormal. It tooks months to free her and bring peace back into her home. Mainly because of her dishonesty about physical intimacy with this young man. 

There was Ben (not his name) who was teased for being feminine. So he thought, “If I am gay I should find out what this is.” He went online and began watching gay porn. This lead him down a path of addiction, poor choices, and a lifestyle of immorality. He has struggled deeply with identity, immorality, love, and purity. 

There was Jeremy (not his name) who was clouded with lies that manhood was expressed by sexual activity. He slept with over 300 woman and has intense trouble committing to anyone or being faithful. He struggles with intimacy, love, identity, and loving others. Women are to be used, not loved. 

If you are practicing sex outside the covenant of marriage between a natural born man and woman you may be saying, “I am a good person. My partner is a good person. We are not hurting anyone. We are not like those stories shared.” Well, God provided boundaries for a reason. Living oustide His boundaries and guidelines is what got Adam and Eve into trouble. 

In deep inner healing sessions people are sometimes shocked at what is imprinted on their souls from sex, pornography, movies/media, etc…

God longs to protect who He loves, people. So He established a union and boundaries for physical intimacy that is rooted in committement, faithfulness, and agape love (unselfish, pure, sacrificial, unconditional love). 

Papa God thank You that every good and perfect gift comes from above from the Father of Lights, You! I ask for any person reading this to offer up their sexuality and ideas about sex to You. Any areas of compromise, I ask they would be surrendered to You. Purge each soul willing from imprinting of images, media influence, past unions. Wash it all in Your blood. Remove any residue. I bless each person with restoration and purity. In Jesus mighty name. Amen.

Love, 

Erin Lamb 

P.S At the end of this series I will go  through some soul healing/restoration tools! 

Sacred Sex Series Intro

  
This new series is about physical intimacy; sex. It is a spin off of the Relationship Series. 

Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body,~1 Corinthians 6:18 (Amplified). 

Our culture is super saturated with messages about sex that is leaving us multitudes of the sexually broken and confused. 

Why this series? What can I bring to the table? Well, I am trained in deep inner healing and caring for the wounded soul (mind, will, emotions) and spirit. 

In meeting with people and walking them through the healing process you get to see the aftermath of choosing a way that is outside God’s boundaries. I have seen what sexual sin does to the soul and spirit of a person. 

I’ve watched people I deeply love have their lives turned upside down because they chose their way over God’s. 

I’ve seen the blessings of doing things God’s way, even when people say you are crazy for pursuing purity. 

I’ve seen how God restores, heals, mends the sexually broken. There’s always hope in Jesus. 

If I can prevent one person from wounding their soul or the soul of another, it is worth writing this series. If I can walk one person into freedom, it is worth writing this series. I hope to give you tools to walk in purity, tools for mending the broken or wounded soul/spirit, and courage to stand when your flesh is crying out, “Cave in!” 

I hope to give you information from the word of God and His view on sex. Why on earth did God design us the way He did? 

Part of my ministry is focused on intimacy with God. I hope to dive into God’s orginal design for intimacy between human beings.

God is not timid, bashful, afraid, or ashamed of sex (it was His idea). He is also not out to shame us, harm us, or hurt us. God loves us. God loves what He created. God blesses sex between a natural born man and natural born woman in covenant (life time committed love/relationship). We will talk about covenants later. 

So let’s get started…

I grew up being told not to have sex before marriage. There was little explanation as to why I shouldn’t have sex outside marriage. Maybe people were unaware of the impact sex has on the soul and spirit of a person. 

I watched young boys be told, “Men will be men. We cannot expect purity out of them, but you girls better behave.” I am a logic driven person. So these statements made no sense. Who exactly were these boys going to be practicing being “men” on…someone’s daughter. 

Having sex, btw, does not make a man a man. Being a male is something God gives through the DNA. The chromosomes of men read XY, male. Yes there is growing from being a boy into a man, yet scripture never links manhood to sex. If it did, Jesus would not be considered a man. He did not have sex with anyone. We read of Godly manhood linked to being responsible, full of integrity, humble, dependent on God, compassionate, walking in selfless love, honoring and empowering women, laying your life down, purity, caring for the weak, honesty, etc…Jesus modeled perfect masculinity. 

I watched girls in my middle school, high school, and college be shamed for their choices to engage in sex, while boys were celebrated, “Atta boy! He’s man now.

Women were shamed for desiring physical intimacy and men were celebrated! It sent a message to women, “Desiring physical intimacy makes you dirty, unclean, unholy.” No wonder some Christian women report not enjoying intimacy with their husbands and shame over their desires or past. 

Culture tells men, “Take, take, take from women. Commitment makes you weak. Engage in whatever makes you feel good. She was created for your pleasure. It is all about you. You are the man.” Our culture promotes selfishness which is sin. Love is not selfish. 

I have listened to men around me over the years sexualize women (“women are good for one thing…ha ha, man grunt“), promote manhood as being promiscuous, and view sex as the most important thing in the world. 

I’ve been on the receiving end of sexual harassment, men commenting on my body parts, approaching me in ungodly ways based on their lust or passions. I have been bombarded by images of women idealized based on their bodies or measurements. 

I dress modestly, yet that does not prevent the occasional man from ogling me like a bacon sandwich or following me around to stare at me. When called out on their behavior, I have been told, “Men can not help themselves. We are visual.” So I am blamed for their lack of self control. I wear clothes that completely cover and it still does not help. 

Lust is a spirit and heart condition. It is not the natural wiring of man or woman. Adam did not lust after Eve. Eve did not lust after Adam. They knew love (we will talk about lust later). 

I’ve also seen Christian men run from women they found attractive. “I dont want to sin, run Forrest run!” This behavior has left some Christian women feeling deeply rejected. They are pursued by nonbelievers and avoided by men who claim to love Jesus. “Get away from me Jezebel! You temptress!!!” God told us to live out of love, not fear and suspicion. Every attractive woman is not out to seduce every man and vice versa. We use wisdom, not fear. Also natural sexual attraction is not lust. Lust seeks to take and devour for its own pleasures. 

I’ve been ridiculed for choosing God’s way or agreeing with Him about sex or purity. I have had guys bypass me because I refused sex outside marriage (yes, they claimed to be Christians). I have heard the statements, “Times have changed. That’s old fashioned.” 

God has not changed the boundaries He established because the consequences are the same. He is not double minded. Living outside His boundaries leads to brokeness. 

So, I hope this series gives you honest things to ponder. I hope it inspires you to investigate God’s original design. I hope you ask questions and see God’s viewpoint of sex. It was His idea. 

I hope your heart and mind grow to know God more. Placing God at the center of everything is a sure way to find blessings! I pray healing takes place. 

Until next time, here are some resources for you and I will close us in prayer. 

Moral Revolution Website: Moral Revolution

Moral Revolution Book: Moral Revolution Book

The Wait by DeVon Franklin: The Wait BookThe Wait (Amazon)

You can also find Moral Revolution and DeVon Franklin on Instgram. 

Papa God thank You for Your original design. Thank You for all of creation. You are beyond genius. I pray every person reading this series has an encounter with Your Holy Spirit. I ask all shame, guilt, and condemnation be laid before You. For those struggling with purity, I ask for increased awareness of Your love and sustaining power. 

Purity is more than refraining from sexual activity. It is the status of the heart. Any impure motives in our hearts, I ask they are cleansed. Any selfishness in our hearts, please cleanse. Any unholy images or memories, be cleansed by the power of Jesus. 

Help us to live with Your eyes and heart, viewing people the way You do. Help us to view physical intimacy the way You do. I speak healing and wholeness to each soul. I ask for a cleansing of the heart and mind, in Jesus powerful name. Amen. 

Love in Christ, 

Erin Lamb