Prophecy is Supposed to Connect People to a Loving Father

Prophecy 101: God Speaks to Build Connection/Initimacy (Knowing Him), Not Just Relay Information. Prophets Do Not Just Give Info, They Are Supposed to Connect People With the Heart and Will of A Loving Father.

Jesus did what He saw the Father doing and said what He heard the Father saying. Jesus is the perfect model for a prophet. He is the prophet. True prophesy invites people into a heart to heart and spirit to Spirit connection. Fortune tellers just provide information. Prophets release an invitation for heaven to invade the heart of a person.

God has been and will always be looking for a relationship with humanity; a personal, intimate relationship. Part of relationship is communication. God spoke the world into creation. When God truly speaks, no word from Him ever fails, it accomplishes everything it is sent out to do (Isaiah 55:11). God does not speak half hazardly. God has a purpose behind every single thing that He says.

One of the purposes of His voice is to build connection. God loves intimacy. God loves connecting His heart to our heart. God is after the heart. Throughout the old and new testament we see prophets given insight into the heart of God for His people. Even His words of rebuke were aimed at reconnecting the heart of the sinful to a loving God. Repent so you can be reconciled to God. The message over and over has been, humanity needs God. God does not need us, God wants us. We need God.

God sent prophets to reveal His desire for people to turn from disconnection (sin), to Him for reconnection and abiding in love. For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son so whosoever will repent and believe in Him may have eternal life.

God sent prophets when the people were going astray, following idols, headed for destruction, and to proclaim the will of the Lord. Warnings came through prophets because God likes to give people an opportunity to turn or prepare before disaster comes.

I see in the person of Jesus a prophet who came in great love and compassion. He ministered in a way unlike any other who walked this earth. He goal was not demonstrations of great power, wisdom, or knowledge. It was to connect people to a God who loved them, it was to reveal God’s heart for the world. He stated, “I did not come to condemn (pass final judgement on the world). I came to save the world (give the world an opportunity to repent and be reconciled to the Father).” There will be a final judgement, every person including the believer will give an account to a holy God for their lives.

Part of the role of a believer, according to Apostle Paul is to be ministers of reconciliation. We want to see people right with God and connected to His heartbeat.

2 Corinthians 5:16b-21 (ESV)

Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Prophecy is one of the vehicles God uses to connect people with His heart and will. It is not just sharing random info or speaking from our soul. God has a purpose for everything He says and does. If you look closely it relates to relationship and connection.

Are our prophetic words drawing people into a deeper connection with the heart of God for them? Is it helping them connect with the heart of God and hear from God for themselves? Are people growing in intimacy with God? Is anyone being drawn to loving repentance and a shift in the mindset to match God? Is Jesus exalted? Does anyone see and encounter the Father?

If the answer to each of those questions is no, then we may have missed God altogether and are functioning out of the soul or flesh.

I have encountered numerous “prophets” in my day who have the spirit of slap on them, a critical spirit, lack discernment, or are reckless. Whatever they think comes out of their mouth with God said attached to it.

These are some things I teach in the classes on the prophetic.

1. God longs to connect with the heart of the person. Filter out what you want to see happen for them and focus on His heart. All the gifts are to flow through love (see 1 Corinthians 13 and 14). The love chapter is in between two chapters focused on spiritual gifts.

2. It’s not about drawing people to us or being a pipeline to God for them, it is about drawing people to Jesus and them learning to discern Him, connect with Him for themselves.

3. It needs weighed against the whole of scripture and the character of God. God is good. God is holy. God is love. God is not confused nor double minded.

I have met people who told me God told them to leave their spouse for another married person or not read the bible. Well NO! It is imperative to be students of the word and live in intimacy with God.

4. God is not manipulative. He lets people choose. He loves a cheerful giver, not obligation.

I have seen people try to use Jesus to get people to do what they want. This is witchcraft. Witchcraft is about control. God does not seek to control people. The devil loves control. God does not need to manipulate anyone. He leads by love.

5. Some things are to be spoken out and shared. Some are to be prayed over and not spoken.

I keep prophetic journals. I have since I was a kid. I date them. I have things in them that have never been shared with anyone. Some things were intercession items, some personal, and some the timing. It was not and is not the appropriate time to release information. God has perfect timing.

6. Be accountable.

I think it’s good to follow up with people and ask them, “Did this resonate with you? Did this happen for you?” We grow by taking ownership of what we say and do. Paul also addressing order in the prophetic. We do not need to talk over people or be rude. Everyone can wait their turn. Feedback is our friend. Self control is our friend.

7. God speaks life and impossibilities made possible.

Death speaking prophets concern me. “God is going to bankrupt you because you won’t give to my church!” “God says you are not going to be successful!!” I often scratch my head and wonder which “God” they are listening to??? Obviously God is petty, rude, selfish, and punishing. Ummmmm no! Sometimes people speak out of their own anger, critical spirit, jealousy and say it was God. If that’s you, repent. It may not hurt to go to the person you cursed and say, “I was not speaking for God. Will you forgive me? I retract my word cursing over you.”

I have been verbally vomited on by several professing prophets. The Holy Spirit will speak to my heart and spirit, “That’s not from me.” Sometimes it’s appropriate to tell the person, “I am not in agreement with what you said. Please do not speak like this over anyone else.” Sometimes they repent. Sometimes they tell you to not be offended or sensitive. Sometimes they break fellowship. Either way, God is not rude, hyper critical, nor a jerk.

8. Discernment of Spirits is not the same as the gift of prophecy.

Some have discernment of spirits and think they are prophetic by running around calling out demons in or around people. Prophecy is supposed to be about connecting people with the heart and will of God. I can see dozens of demons in and around people or have Holy Spirit reveal their presence and not speak that out over a person. My job if they are in front of me is to love them and connect the person with the heart of God. If they need and want deliverance, that is something else that can be done without humiliating the person or word cursing them.

I had a lady who stated she was a prophet yet constantly saw and spoke out the dirt in people’s lives. She was so very negative. I pulled her aside once because she wanted to run from a demonized lady, mistreat her. I said no. I am not going to mistreat her because she is oppressed by demons. Jesus came to set captives free. I stayed and prayed with the lady. Not worried about being “slimed” as people say. Why? This was a person Jesus died for and speaking death over her is not Jesus. She had a wonderful encounter with Holy Spirit, the lady. The other woman cut ties with me later because I could not endure that critical spirit that constantly wanted to speak negativity over people and say it was God. “Oh God said you won’t have great relationships because your personality scares people.” Really? How is that edifying? It’s actually cursing people. She did not have the best personality herself. She was critical, abrasive, and rude in the name of Jesus-yet Jesus was and is none of those things.

To end this novel, prophecy is not just blabbering at the mouth. It is connection with a loving Father; to reveal His heart and will. God is not mean spirited. If you are called to be a prophet, one of my greatest encouragements is to ask God to reveal His heart. Once He does, seek to live out of His heart. Abide in His heart. Speak from His heart. Jesus did and I know no greater prophet.

Love in Christ,

Erin Lamb

https://www.empowered-free.com

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The Love Filled Prophet vs. The Reckless Prophet

The Love Filled Prophet vs. The Reckless Prophet

I believe God speaks. I believe prophesy is the testimony of Jesus and when done by the Spirit of God, it glorifies Jesus. Over the years I have heard people diminish the love of God and words that build up to follow after and support harsh, critical, rude, reckless, and mean spirited “prophets.” I believe if anyone wants to see or know a perfect prophet, follow Jesus.

The word was made flesh and dwelt among us. The word of God is not simply contained in a leather bound book in writings of ink. The word of God is contained within a person, Jesus-the Son of God. Every word from God does not fail, it accomplishes all it is sent out to do (Isaiah 55:11). The word (Jesus) came and fulfilled everything He was sent to do.

Every God appointed prophet in the bible had an assignment and it was not to verbally abuse people. Nor was it to set up a fan club or look how powerful I am meeting. They came on a mission to reveal something about the Father. Who is God? God is overflowing with compassion and love, truth and justice, wisdom and power fueled by love. Even the rebukes of God are to lead people to a place of restoration. Condemnation flows from lack of receiving the Son/lack of repentance. No one comes to the Father except through the Son (John 14:6). The wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life (Romans 6:23). God warns so we repent, in His kindness He notifies us when our actions are displeasing and destructive (Hebrews 12:6, Romans 2:4).

I see in the life of Jesus someone who not only spoke the words of the Father, and demonstrated His character, nature, and heart-I see someone willing to die for the people He had to correct and instruct. Jesus could flip over tables and be properly aligned with the Father because Jesus so loved those people He was going to demonstrate on a rugged cross He would pay for their sins. He who knew no sin became the atoning sacrifice for all sin (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Love was not something Jesus simply talked about in passing. Love was something Jesus demonstrated. He went to the cross and endured outrageous suffering to free sinful humanity. The one who has the highest name, also got low and washed feet (John 13:1-17).

Love is not telling people what they want to hear nor watering down what God says. It is choosing to abide in a place of truth telling in great love, because we want people aligned with God-we want them connected to the heart of the Father.

Prophesy is not just giving people information. True prophesy should connect people with the very heartbeat of God. Jesus did this. He revealed the Father.

The reckless prophet can be like a bull in a china shop or a butcher. The desire is simply to share perceived revelation without regard for the audience. The “prophesy” can lack tact, love, compassion, wisdom, and grace.

Surgeons cut to preserve life. Butchers cut to destroy life. Prophets are called to be surgeons, not butchers.

The reckless prophet can desire their voice to be heard regardless of how it impacts a meeting or person. Instead of waiting and listening, there can be a pressure to just insert information. The goal is not connecting a person to the heart if the Father, the mission of the Father, it’s just to be heard.

The reckless prophet can partner with a critical spirit and believe they are speaking for God. Sometimes their words are cursing people instead of blessing. We are told to bless and not curse; to build up and not destroy. If we need to correct someone, we are to move in a spirit of humility and gentleness, knowing without the grace of God we could be in a bad place.

The reckless prophet can buck accountability and correction. They are the pipeline to God. Everything is, “Well God told me,” instead of submitting what is thought to be God to testing, weighing, and correction. “God told me,” can be an excuse for rudeness, lack of tact, selfishness, or lack of order. The reckless prophet may attempt to use God as a scapegoat. True prophets will submit to be tested, corrected, and held accountable.

The reckless prophet may develop relationships where they become Holy Spirit for others. People depend on their voice instead of Gods personal connection. True prophets seek to help people hear God for themselves.

The reckless prophet may only focus on one aspect of who God is instead of the whole. Yes God is merciful, kind, and loving. God will also on the final day judge all of humanity for their choices. His justice is a part of His character. It does not make people the judge, God is. The prophet is simply to represent God’s heart and voice, not become God for the people. Jesus said what He heard the Father saying, and did what He saw the Father doing. He did not come to pass final judgement on the world; He came to give people the opportunity to receive Him, repent, and be restored. Final assessment comes much later.

Jesus is the perfect model of a prophet and of God. Jesus was not reckless. He operated out of great love, truth, justice, and compassion. Jesus did not have the spirit of slap on Him. He overflowed with agape love (sacrificial, unselfish, passionate love). Jesus spoke with wisdom. Those He rebuked, He did it with great love. Jesus was not passive, passive aggressive, nor aggressive. Jesus was not controlling, manipulative, nor critical. He spoke the very heart of the Father. He demonstrated the very heart of the Father. He came to represent heaven well.

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

Photo: Aviv (Jewish Actor) as Jesus (The Shack Movie)

Upcoming Webcast August 7th 2018

Let’s connect!

Join me next week for a live webcast. It is lesson 2 in the 30 Day Speak Life Challenge.

This past Wednesday I spoke about Genesis 1 and our new identity in Christ. Let’s live on the right side of the cross!! We are not who we used to be if we are united to Jesus.

You may find that teaching here: Author Page Videos.

Tuesday for the Speak Life Lesson 2 (you can join us at facebook.com/erinlambauthor), I will be talking about navigating through hard seasons with God.

It’s easy to think positive and be confident when life is roses. What about when all hell is breaking loose, you are being persecuted, the bottom fell out of your plans, you are facing death or given a bad diagnosis, or life has sucker punched you? I will share some biblical insights from overcomings and part of my story of overcoming these things.

Tune in August 7th, at 9am EST, 6am Pacific, on the FB author page, and let’s chat.

See ya next week. God loves you. Enjoy Him today. He loves you with an everlasting love. ❤️

Love,

Erin Lamb

Transform the Mind; Transform Your Life!

Morning Devotion: Transform The Mind; Transform The Life. A Mind That Thinks Like God Manifests the Kingdom of God and Character of Jesus.

The invitation of God is relationship and life union; He is the vine, the living water, the wellspring, and our dwelling place. To be one with God is not attending services, it is a perpetual pursuit of intimacy (knowing) God (7 days a week).

God loves to pursue; God loves being pursuit. This holy pursuit and union leads to radical transformation.

We become like the gods we worship. As Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “The gods we worship write their names on our faces.” Whoever or whatever we are exalting in our hearts and minds will be manifested in and through our behavior.

We will not out behave our thought life. The body will move in the direction of mind. The mind is not limited to the brain or neurons firing. The spirit and soul have the ability to reason, choose, and process information.

We are encouraged to abide in God and think like God. Jesus had oneness with the Father and Kingdom thoughts. Do we think like God?

Part of transformation comes from studying the word of God with God. I believe in inviting the Holy Spirit to teach. He is the Teacher. Jesus was called the Rabbi. The ability to rightly dissect the word of God and apply it is vital.

Deception is combatted with truth. It is not simply the truth that sets us free. It is believing the truth that sets us free. What do we believe about ourselves, our circumstances, or God?

If we believe negative, unscriptural things, then we will see our lives manifesting negative outcomes. If we believe we will never be free, never be healed, never get out of debt-guess what? We get to live in the house our negative thoughts and words built.

What if we transitioned to thinking like God? Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, the Bible says. God thinks in the realms of limitless possibilities, hope, the impossible made possible, wisdom, life, positivity, encouragement, love, goodness, and when God speaks He creates. Words create realms. God spoke and the world came into existence. The power of life and death is in our tongue. What are we thinking? What are we speaking?

….be transformed as you embrace the glorious Christ-within as your new life and live in union with him! For God has re-created you all over again in his perfect righteousness, and you now belong to him in the realm of true holiness,~Ephesians 4:24 TPT.

We are truly transformed through relationship with God and adhering to His truth. We cast down vain imaginations that exalt themselves above God. We take negative, unholy thoughts captive and make them obedient to the word of God. Do our thoughts align with Gods thoughts?

Take some time this week to inventory your thoughts. Are the good, pure, noble, full of God’s truth, or of good report? Or negative, unholy, selfish, fearful, lustful, and vain? Are you putting yourself down or listening to God’s encouraging words?

What we believe about ourselves, God, and our circumstances does impact our world. The words we speak become the house were we get to dwell. Do we want to live in a mansion or a shack? Do we want to thrive or just survive?

Jesus walked in great humility and confidence because He knew who He was, He knew the Father, and remained in oneness with the Father. His thoughts are higher. We are given access to the mind of Christ. Part of the transformation of the character and soul into the image of God transpires in the mind.

God help us to renew our minds with your word. Help us to be people who think like you. May we think endless possibilities in you, holy thoughts, life giving thoughts, righteous thoughts, and see the fulfillment of Christlikeness in our character, lives.

Check out Confident & Free the Devotional. https://www.amazon.com/Confident-Free-Devotional-Confidence-Intimacy/dp/0692123180?keywords=erin+lamb&qid=1532262201&sr=8-1&ref=mp_s_a_1_1.

Love,

Erin Lamb

Thriving in a Joseph Season

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Devotion: Thriving in a Joseph season. They may try to bury you, but God is going to elevate you. Overcoming sabotage and betrayal.

I love King David. I love the way God positioned David. David did not have to fight his way to the front of the line nor clamor for position. God saw David, God elevated David. David was hidden and quite insignificant in the eyes of others. People could not see what God saw when He looked at David. God saw a giant killer!

David was pursued by a jealous Saul. Yet the attempts of Saul to kill David were futile. God had a plan for David that could not be thwarted by the insecurity, jealousy, and hatred of Saul. David sought the Lord and was protected by God. He overcame not by power or might, but by God’s Spirit. He even said to Goliath, “I come in the name of the Lord.”

It is imperative when attacked to rely on God’s strength and wisdom, not our own. We overcome by His power and His strength, not our flesh.

Let’s talk about Joseph. Betrayal from family (spiritual or natural) is a far more challenging pill to swallow.

Joseph is sometimes tagged as arrogant because he shared his dream with his family. The bible does not call Joseph arrogant. He was enthusiastic. There is wisdom in understanding not everyone can hear your dream for jealousy can lead many to try to sabotage the dream. Some dreams are to hold close and pray for God to show you who’s going to come into agreement. Some may smile and try to sabotage the very thing they tell you they are prating for. We can learn from Jospeh.

God is so organized and such a great planner He already had the jealousy of Joseph’s brothers factored into the equation. He knew they would betray him. God knew Joseph would be thrown into a pit. God knew every step of the process to get Joseph from his father’s house to the Palace. God knew every detour, disappointment, attempt at sabotage, betrayal, and lie that would be spoken to Joseph that would lead to his promotion. People tried to bury Joseph, yet God placed seed in Jospeh.

When God speaks, it is seed. I love that Isaiah 55:11 says, “No word from God ever fails, it accomplishes all it is sent out to do.” When you blow seed on the land it will sink into the earth and grow. Unless that seed is eaten or plucked up, it is going to bring forth a harvest. God spoke seed to Joseph. It did not matter how many times people tried to bury him, the momentum of heaven was behind Jospeh to see the fulfillment of God’s destiny for him and a Nation.

So my encouragement to you is this, if God be for you, who can stand against you? Who can defeat the Lord, the Lord strong and mighty? Who can overthrow what God has ordained? God is more powerful than any force of a person or nature. God is the great I AM. He can open up the earth and swallow His enemies. He can part the Red Seas, raise the dead to life, move mountains. The winds and waves obey Him.

God prepares a table in the presence of your enemies. God is our feast!

You become my delicious feast

even when my enemies dare to fight.

You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit; you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows,~Psalm 23:5 (The Passion Translation).

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people,~Genesis 50:20.

God has a plan and it is good! No matter who comes against you, they are no match for the God who is for you. We can thrive in seasons of betrayal and sabotage by knowing God had it all worked into the equation, by knowing God is going to fulfill His word, and by knowing greater is He who is in us than He that is in the world. The champion of these stories is not David nor Joseph, it is God. God empowered both David and Joseph to overcome.

You and I can thrive instead of survive if we choose to follow Jesus and abide in Him during those challenges. God is good at turning ashes into beauty, mourning into joy, betrayal into elevation, and sabotage into promotion! Jesus is the perfect example of someone betrayed and sabotaged. If only the enemy knew his plan to destroy Jesus was going to elevate Him to the highest place in the Father’s Kingdom.

Papa, heal every soul wound on those sabatoged and hurt by betrayal. You have a plan to turn it for exceptional good. No weapon forged against your children will prosper. Heal the deep wounds and bring forth radical peace. Let your peace and comfort sink deep. Others may have tried to bury them, yet they are your seeds. Water the seed today. In Jesus powerful name, amen!

Love in Christ,

Erin Lamb

Relational Lessons Learned Part II

Lessons learned on dealing with the opposite sex.

I am also including information from years of peer counseling, having female friends, talking to those divorced, talking to those in good relationships, working with mostly males, talking to men, and doing soul healing sessions with the abused. I hope this helps someone.

1. Seek God in prayer not only over female friendships, but those with men or men who want to pursue you for dating or marriage. I pray, “God show me who this person really is. What is their heart like and what is their motivation for connection?”

Some men are looking for something pretty and shiny to play with, you are not a toy.

Some are looking for a trophy to display their ability to snag something pretty/shiny, you are not an object.

Some are driven by hormones or lust, not genuine agape love, you are not a pleasure center-you are a person.

Some are lonely or trying to fill a void for their lost girlfriend, dead wife, divorce-you are not the back up plan.

Some actually want to attempt to love you the way Jesus loves you. This is what you want. You won’t know if there is no inquiry from God.

People are trained to put their best foot forward to get what they want, then the act stops once they acquire their target. Men around me have confirmed they put forth mega effort to win a woman over, some pretended to like what she liked, faked interest in her hopes/dreams and after I do or physical relationship they stopped the pretending. One guy said, “Yeah, I got her now. Those flowers and dates were to get her.”

2. If a man or person wants to be with you or connect with you, they will not let you do all the work or initiation. Level of interest is directly tied to level of effort. Zero effort (you do all the work), minimal interest. Just enough effort to keep you lingering, minimal interest. Those who desire connection, pursue connection.

I grow tired of, “I think he likes me but I never hear from him, or he fell off the grid.” Ummmm…he’s not that into you. If he were interested, ignoring you would not be an option.

3. If you are kind, some men view this as an invitation to date or interest or flirting.

God tells us to treat men like brothers in Christ, so this can be challenging if you are just trying to obey the Lord and he is thinking, “She wants me.” So, I try to limit kindness to men to what is:

1. Public (and not frequent).

2. Neutral, not too affirming.

3. What includes others so they see they are not singled out.

4. Group activities, not one on one.

If a guy is married, the boundaries are even higher. If I have a gift or encouragement it goes through their wife. If I do not know their wife, I seek to know her. I do not go on lunches or meet ups with married men. I do not have long conversations about my inner world nor let them talk to me about their marriage or inner world. They have a wife. I am not interested in anyone’s husband.

4. When they show you who they are, believe them. Watch what they DO, not just what they SAY.

Lots of abusive men show red flags before they act out. Women are sometimes conditioned wrongly that they can change a man or their love will change him. No! No! No! I repeat again NO!

It is not our job to try to change anyone! That’s control and manipulation. What he shows you, especially if you follow step one (ask God to show you who he is) is what you are dealing with, so act accordingly.

I had a guy pursuing me once who had a great resume on paper. We seemed perfect for each other. Then I put prayer on him. His mask fell off and God showed me how everything he did was an act. He was one person at church and someone else outside church. I talked to him and he confessed out of his own mouth that he just put on an act and religious show for women to hopefully get them to fall for him and compromise. Ummmmm no! No man is worth compromise. I thanked God for answering my prayer and sent him packing. I did not stay in that situation and try to make him my project. Nope! Bye Feliciano…praying for you from a distance.

5. Men are people, not projects. They were created to loved, respected, and not a Jesus substitute.

The only perfect man is Jesus…pause for my heart to swoon. To expect a human man to be Jesus is ludicrous. Christian men are called to abide in Jesus and imitate Jesus, not be Jesus. The only Savior and Lord is Jesus. Wrong teaching of husband as the head (some is just plain idolatry masked in religious terms) has made men to be like demi gods to women. This leads to gross disappointment and does not please God. God is God, you shall have no others gods beside Him.

It is also not a woman’s job to try to make a man Jesus. Let Jesus be Jesus, let God mold man into His image. God is better at being God than we are.

6. Pay attention to his interactions with you. Does he inquire of you or just talk about himself or what you can do for him? Selfish people make horrible partners. HORRIBLE!

If he only talks about himself, how you can bless or serve him, and how pretty you are…RED flag. You may be the pretty/shiny toy he is looking to play with or a trophy. Love involves inquiry of the other person and listening. Love involves caring about the other person, not just yourself. Love involves giving, not consuming.

The root of all sin is selfishness. I becomes greater than God. If a man is grossly selfish, he will hurt you because his greatest concern is himself.

7. Let God hold your heart until is is wise to give it away.

Maybe we all have met the girl or woman who goes on one date and starts planning her wedding. Pause speedy Gonzalez! Who is this person? Talk to God. Put the brakes on creating a fantasy relationship with someone because you must live with the REALITY of them. Not every guy needs access to your heart or all your time. What is easy is not usually appreciated.

8. If you see abuse of others, you are not the special one he won’t abuse. How did he treat other women? How does he treat his mother? Servers? Those who can do nothing for him.

Pay attention! Walk in love and wisdom. If you see him abusing animals, cursing people out, having fits of rage, punching walls, picking fights, disrespecting his mother or other women-you may be next.

Men, people in general, with low self esteem can be very abusive. They can not love you as they love themselves if they hate themselves. If he struggles with healthy love of self, you won’t be loved either.

9. Don’t isolate your friends and family from your life.

Sometimes those connected to you see what you don’t see. Isolation is a key tool of abusers. Get the person away from anyone who may see the mistreatment and try to get the abuse victim help. Stay connected to people who truly know you and love you; pray and listen.

10. You are NOT responsible for his sin or lust.

I believe in modesty, just for me. I do not have my chest out, wear skimpy clothes, etc…I also understand if someone has a lust problem, you can be covered from head to toe and they find something to lust over. Women are not responsible for the actions of men. Our culture blames women and it’s wrong.

If he cheats on you, it was his choice.

If he hits you, it was his choice.

If he rapes someone, it was his choice.

If he abandons his responsibilities, it was his choice.

Since the Garden of Eden women have been blamed for the choices of men. Well no. She made me sin does not fly with Jesus. So ladies, yes use wisdom, act godly…yet know you are not to blame for the choices of other people.

11. Beware of sneak a date or those who use “God told me you’re my spouse.”

God is not manipulative, nor the author of confusion. God tells the truth. Often the sneak a date is, “I will pretend I need something, want something, or just want to be friends when the motives are otherwise.” This can be deception. Honesty says, “I like you. I want to get to know you better. Would you be interested in that?” Adults communicate their intentions.

If God did say, “This would be a great spouse for you.” God is smart enough to tell the other person and it will benefit both people-not just one. God also lets us choose.

I have had several guys try the sneak a date or God told me. No. I am not going that road. I pray and if God says no, I say no. Why? God knows the end from the beginning. If God says no there is reason.

12. “Prophecy” is not a good standard for picking a spouse, look at how they treat you.

Over the years met several women given words about their spouse and that guy was a complete jerk to them. God is not cruel nor a poor matchmaker. If it is truly a word from God, His choice, that person won’t treat you like garbage. God is GOOD. There is a misunderstanding that God wants us in bad relationships. He does not!

I have been given at least a dozen words about “This is your husband,” mainly from women. All from women who want me to be married because it is a social club in Christianity. None of those men were right for me. Not one! Run Forrest RUN!!!

If you are having dreams or impressions about one particular guy, you may have a soul tie with them. Break the soul tie and heart entanglement.

If he is treating you poorly and you keep having words he is the one, examine the voice speaking to you. God is not the author of confusion or mistreatment. Demonic spirits can try to set up bad unions. Test every voice and see if it’s of God.

13. Understand you marry into a family, not just that person.

If they have kids, a broken family, they become your family. You are not just marrying a person, you get their family too.

14. If you are interested in marriage, talk about money (is their credit jacked up), gender roles (some in Christian culture have some special ideas about gender roles), expectations, destiny, calling, raising kids, etc…

Focusing on chemistry is silly considering you are partnering with someone to build a life. He’s so hot or she’s so hot doesn’t fly when they don’t pay the bills on time, are a slob, have bad credit…

15. Men have feelings too and some deep fears of rejection.

It is sometimes masked with anger, yet men have all the feelings women have and some more deeply. Men are sometimes conditioned not to feel. Our actions as women wound and hurt men. Treat them how you want to be treated. If he steps out to pursue and you are not interested, treat him with respect, honor, and dignity.

16. There are some amazing men out there.

I have met them, have some as friends, and even dated a few. Yes there are some bad apples. There are some great ones too.

17. Pray for men.

Our culture bombards men with images that are ungodly that tell them manhood is about control, power, violence, and sexual immorality. Truly manhood was and is best represented in Jesus; love, humility, purity, service, kindness, and compassion.

18. Be a good friend to men and set boundaries.

It is possible to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex. Understand though the time and sharing can create a bond in the soul. Use wisdom.

19. If you desire marriage, examine is this person really good friend to me. Friendship lasts longer than butterflies.

20. If he does not respect your boundaries, he does not respect you.

If you say no, don’t do that, or I don’t like that…and he keeps doing it or pressing the envelope, he does not respect or love you. Love respects a no. It does not pressure for more. Satan is pushy. God is respectful.

21. Men respond to actions.

I have noticed this at work. Nagging is futile. Saying, “If this is not done by this time or this follows,” and following through with actions is far more effective.

22. Men were created to serve, not be served.

Found many men like to help, they are wired to help and serve. All followers of Jesus are to serve. When women do everything for a man, it is more crippling than empowering. Let him help. Let him serve. Let him work it out without trying to be Jehovah jr.. Let him problem solve and provide input.

I have heard women say, “The more I do for him, the worse he treats me,” well you took his opportunity away to be a blessing. Our culture has reversed the roles so women do everything and men are served. This does not cultivate love. The one who invests the most, gives the most is the one who begins to love deeply. If women invest too much, they end up entangled. Both are to serve. So let him serve.

Hope this helps someone, somewhere.

Love in Christ,

Erin Lamb

Relational Lessons Learned Part I

Morning Devotion: Some things are a blessing, others are a lesson. God desires we have mutually loving, respectful, and life giving connections.

Over the years in ministry, life, and relationships I gathered some lessons learned. I shared some of these these with a buddy yesterday. I hope they bless someone else.

In Christian culture it is taught quite a bit to love others, put others first, love God. Not as much time is spent talking about healthy boundaries, how to guard your heart, what obstacles you will face as a leader or in relationships, what to do with abusive people (and no just pretending they are not violating love does not work-they need boundaries and consequences), or that God wants you loved well too.

Relational Lessons Learned:

1. Watch people for a year and put prayer on them (God show me their heart towards me-when God does, pay attention).

2. When people show you who they are, believe them.

3. Limit your inner circle to those you have prayed over and seen them demonstrate God love.

4. Understand at any time your inner circle can change.

5. Place all faith in God not people.

6. Place all confidence in God not people.

7. When someone shows you they do not care about you, believe them, do not look at words-look at actions.

8. Trust your instincts and listen to Holy Spirit.

9. Some relationships are for just a season and you need to understand when they are over they were just temporary.

10. Don’t try to make an associate into a friend; don’t assume a ministry assignment is a real friendship.

11. Don’t be quick to call everyone friend, examine them first.

12. Don’t let people just have free reign of your schedule. I did this with A few people. When they got busy it was like, “See ya!” This was my fault. I should have guarded my time better and NOT given them so much access to my life, thoughts, etc…they should have been need to know only people.

13. Understand it’s not always wisdom to lead your friends in ministry, some are better suited under someone they do not view as a peer. The greatest dishonor I have experienced in ministry has come from those who claimed to be my friend. Strangers often treat you better.

14. Don’t expect your friends to stick up for you, you stick up for yourself (set boundaries), and ask God for help.

15. Guard your heart, and don’t let everyone inside it. If someone is wreckless, you can love them without giving them full access to you. Use wisdom.

16. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

17. Understand that not everyone wants you to win, and if you become successful, some may turn on you.

18. Understand culture says people of color should be at the bottom, so if you rise, there are haters.

19. Keep God as your best friend.

20. Pursue God for all needs and wants and relationships.

21. Understand only those who have received God’s love for themselves can love you.

22. When or if people attack you, understand their greatest inner turmoil is within and attacking you is a means to handle low self worth, insecurity, and a flawed attempt to feel more powerful.

23. Understand just because a person is gifted, anointed, and can flow with Holy Spirit sometimes does not mean they possess the character of Jesus. Character is costly and involves intimacy with God.

24. Understand everyone is in process, even you. God is at work in those yielded to Him. Someone can buck God and walk in the flesh. In the flesh there is no holiness. Extend grace and walk in wisdom.

25. Loving difficult people does NOT mean you need to be best friends with them or give them VIP access. Use wisdom.

26. People make time for what they value. If they value you, they will make time-even if it’s a 15 second text message. Do not buy into the lie of busy. For some you may be the back up plan or on call prayer buddy. When they have a crisis they come find you. They value what you do, not you personally. Don’t mistake being needed for being loved. Love gives.

27. Value yourself the way God does and you will attract more people who value you too.

28. Ask God for His best yes in friendships, relationships.

29. Trust is developed over time. Don’t let people try to force you into trusting them when they have not demonstrated they are trustworthy.

30. Ask God for wisdom and discernment. Wisdom is a life preserver. Discernment lets you know what is right and almost right.

Once again I hope this helps someone. Some things I wish someone had told me instead of having to walk it out and learn the hard way.

Don’t Settle

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The best relationships evolve when two people know their own worth.

God places a high value on each human being. We are called to live at peace with all people, if possible. This does not mean that we are suitable for every person. Some relationships are not the best matchup for us. We can try to force them, waste years praying for change, or use wisdom and cease settling.

I would like to break this down…

I am a direct communicator and do not enjoy games, flakiness, hot then cold, nonsense. I mean what I say. I am not unstable, flakey, nor do I play games. I am not a good fit for unstable people. I am not a great fit for grossly insecure people. I actually like who I am in Christ and have zero desire to diminish who I am to appeal to those with low self esteem. God invited me to love myself, then love my neighbor as I love myself.

I have had numerous people tell me to settle in romantic relationships and friendships. I do not wish to because of what I know of God.

Scripture tells me the following:

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen,~Ephesians 3:20-21.

If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”~Luke 11:11-13.

The only perfect person and perfect relationship is with Jesus. There are synergy relationships and divine alignments that bring out the best in us, not the worst. There are relationships that complement us and add value. There are relationships that are Godsends. Then there are those that seem to be aligned with hell.

If we seek God before we date, before we become best friends, before taking the job, before the business or ministry alignment-it can save us loads of heartache. Will everything be perfect, no. Can we bypass some hell on earth by asking God to align us with Ephesians 3:20 relationships, yes.

The people I know who are divorced or in abusive or not so great relationships either settled, rushed in because of peer pressure-desire for sex-age-desperation, or did not seriously seek God about their choices. Hormones are not to be trusted. God can be trusted. Lonliness is a very poor decision making tool. It is far better to be alone with God than partnered with the wrong people.

God withholds nothing good from us according to Psalm 84.

For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows [present] grace and favor and [future] glory (honor, splendor, and heavenly bliss)! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly,~Psalm 84:11.

God is good. God withholds nothing good. If we are not seeking the manifestation of good in relationships we may either not be ready, choosing poorly, or not understanding the timing of God.

God exists outside of time and is patient. We as humans can be impatient. Impatience can lead to poor choices.

Settling for less than God’s best does not leave us fulfilled. It leaves us hungry and depleted. Dating out of lonliness or desperation can lead to devastation. Choosing someone just for physical intimacy or to meet a need is selfish. Nothing good springs from selfishness. Marrying someone just to check a box and fit into Christian culture is not prudent. Settling for crumbs does not leave us full. It leaves up empty.

God intended to meet our primary needs for love, security, identity, and intimacy. If God is first and we know who we are in Him, we will not settle for less than His most excellent best. It is not arrogance, it is alignment with what is God sent.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning,~James 1:17.

There are still some great men and women in the world! If a person seeks God, they can be set up by God for divine friendships, divine marriages. Why settle for what we can get on our own when God offers custom relationships?

The more we love ourselves and stand confident in who God created us to be, the more we attract people with the same confidence and value for us. Those who do not love themselves cannot love others. We attract what we believe and manifest. Manifest low self esteem, attract those with low self esteem. One of the greatest gifts is actually choosing to believe what God has said about us.

Biblical examples of divine alignments…

Johnathan and David had a divine relationship. Ruth and Naomi had a divine relationship. Ruth and Boaz had a divine marriage. Those who seek God are blessed.

Papa God I bind all settling and seeking relationships with the wrong people. Help us also to set boundaries ad see ourselves as you do. Protect each person on this blog from choosing unwisely. Heal soul wounds from bad choices and bad relationships. Help each one not to settle for less than your most excellent best! Set up divine appointments for your best friendships, best relationships. Highlight destiny people and destiny relationships. Block the counterfeits. In Jesus powerful name, Jesus.

Leadership, Godly Submission, and Jesus

Morning Devotion: Leader means servant in God’s eyes, not dictator or boss. Dissecting the leadership model of Jesus and wrong teachings on submission. Submit=Be willing to yield to what honors God (possess humility), not obey or blindly obey people.

I am sometimes confused when people state they are the leader when their function is simply being served and telling others what to do. They are exalted and they have a hierarchy system so their needs, desires, wishes are served or met. Or they define great leadership by the number of people following them; Hitler had lots of followers under his demonic leadership it did not mean God thought he was a great leader.

I have had men tell me and women too that the husband is the leader in the family yet the wife does 80-90% of the serving, helping, loving, getting low in humility to empower her family. It is not the model Jesus laid out nor lived of leadership.

The one laying their life down, sacrificially loving, and serving is imitating Jesus and leading.

The disciples at one point became self important and argued over who would be the greatest among them. The desire to be great in the eyes of man is of the carnal nature (flesh).

Pride does not flow from God, it flows from Satan. Pride, self importance, was the principle sin of Lucifer. He wanted to be worshipped and exalted above God. Lucifer wanted to be served, not serve.

This was the response of Jesus to the arguing disciples:

Jesus, knowing their thoughts, called them to his side and said, “Kings and those with great authority in this world rule oppressively over their subjects, like tyrants. But this is not your calling. You will lead by a completely different model. The greatest one among you will live as the one who is called to serve others, because the greatest honor and authority is reserved for the one with the heart of a servant. For even the Son of Man did not come expecting to be served by everyone, but to serve everyone, and to give his life in exchange for the salvation of many,”~Matthew 20:25-28.

Jesus came with an upside down model of leadership. He came and served. He came and washed feet. He came and empowered others. He came and died to free others. He came and got low so we could be seated in heavenly places with Him, joint heirs and copartners. The value Jesus placed and places on humanity is high.

Jesus was and is perfect-He is the model for all things Christian. He selected disciples who were not yet enlightened. He walked with them, talked with them, served them, and empowered them to do what they saw Him doing. Great leadership is empowering others to reach their highest potential. Jesus did not show up and say, “Now look here peasants, God created you for Me so let’s get this straight, when I say jump, you say how high. These are my demands, meet them daily or else.”

Jesus had no pride, ego, or what they call male ego. Knowing He was worthy of worship, He got low and served others.

Phillipians tells us the following about following the example of Jesus:

Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests. And consider the example that Jesus, the Anointed One, has set before us. Let his mindset become your motivation.

The Example of Jesus Christ

He existed in the form of God, yet he gave no thought to seizing equality with God as his supreme prize. Instead he emptied himself of his outward glory by reducing himself to the form of a lowly servant. He became human! He humbled himself and became vulnerable, choosing to be revealed as a man and was obedient. He was a perfect example, even in his death—a criminal’s death by crucifixion!~Phillipians 2:3-8.

Love is destroyed by pride. Love and pride cannot occupy the same spaces. One will dominate and overpower the other. God commissions and empowers us to love. So when someone says, “I am called to lead you,” if they are following Jesus this means, “I am called to serve you, not seek to be served by you.”

I have met numerous “leaders” and men in my day who told me they were called to lead me. Yet what that meant was they felt empowered to tell me what to do and wanted to be served. This is NOT godly leadership at all, it’s worldly leadership.

I have had single men tell me all the ways I could benefit their lives because to them a wife is servant to meet their needs. They could have cared less about loving me, treating me the way Jesus would. My dreams, calling from God, desires were completely insignificant. They saw someone unmarried and pretty (their words not mine) they wanted to purchase (flash their money, paycheck at) to serve them.

Women are not objects or slaves to be purchased to serve the whims of men then be replaced when she fails to meet a need, cheated on when she cannot meet his pleasures, or used for her body. God did NOT create a system of selfishness nor objectification. God created a family that is supposed to be fueled by love. God says, “Husbands forsake all others and cleave to your one wife. Love her the way Jesus loves the church. He was willing to die for the church. Jesus got low and served. Jesus empowers and leads by love and example. Jesus walks in purity not lust. Jesus cares about every single detail…follow My Son Jesus. Be an imitator of Him.”

The verse that says wives be subject to your husbands as unto the Lord in the original text means be wholly devoted in love-this means she is monogymous and not enganged with other lovers, she has eyes for her husband, single vision. It does NOT mean he becomes her god and she must obey him.

Husband is not the same as God. If it were so, then God is the author of confusion because He plainly says, “You shall have no other god besides me,” and “You are a slave to whomever you obey.” If the texts about husbands and wives meant the husband has the final authority, if he told his wife to betray God she would have to obey her spouse over God. No! She will be held accountable to God for obeying God not man. God is the final authority.

Example:

In inner healing class we had a lady who’s husband was molesting his granddaughter. The wife was submitting to his perverted leadership and holding a pillow over the child’s head during the violation. Was she honoring her husband by submitting to his perversion? Was she a good wife? No! She was a bad wife. She will spend a long time in jail like him for harming this child. The lady who was molested over and over was a testimony of healing in the class, her grandparents were not in the class.

Part of intimate relationship is revealing the righteousness of God to those connected to us. Her role as his wife and sister in Christ was to point her husband to righteousness. We do not yield to what is ungodly. No no no no! Ephesians 5:21 tells all followers of Jesus to be willing to yield (submit, possess humility) in reverence for the Lord. Being willing to yield is NOT the same word as obey.

Culture focuses on the wife submitting while ignoring the verse before it that says men and women, all believers submit to each other and choose humility. Culture also ignores the verses that tell husbands to go even further than that to love their wives the way Jesus loves the church (die to selfishness, pride, ego, immorality). Point highlighted again, we are NOT to yield to what is ungodly and violates our relationship with God. Nor are we puppets to be led on strings by whims of others.

Those led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. If your boss at work, pastor, mentor, parent, spouse or anyone claiming authority over you tells you to do something wicked, say no. That is not rebellion, it is honoring God. Godly leaders point to what honors the Lord and people. God will not lead anyone into sin, nor is God a slave driver who does not care about the needs, desires, or dreams of those He leads.

May we lead like Jesus which is counter cultural to this world. The greatest in the Kingdom of God has a heart of a servant, it is one who loves and looks out for the best interests of others.

Papa God help us to see leadership through the lenses of Jesus. You gave us a perfect model in your Son. Jesus was not a bully, dictator, abuser, nor did He use His status to Lord over people. He got low and served. He took the lowest place and you exalted Him to the highest place. Jesus is perfect theology. Jesus is the perfect spouse model. Jesus is the perfect leader; He seeks to look out for the best interests of those connected to Him. Jesus perfectly loves. Jesus does not use people He partners with them. Jesus, beautiful Jesus. May we abide in Jesus and lead like Jesus. In Your powerful name, amen.

Love in Christ,

Erin Lamb

Breaking Cycles of Dysfunction in Relationships (Single and Following Jesus Series Part IX)

Have you been in a cycle of repeated bad relationships or you see your friends in those same dysfunctional relationships? Today is a day of breaking free.

I have asked the same questions about friendships or casual relationships, “Why is this type of person attracted to me? They have no qualities that match up.” That may seem harsh yet let me give some examples for clarity.

My nature is encouraging, supportive, and I pursue kindness. I want to see you win. I will be the most vocal cheerleader for you.

I wondered why those who were negative, critical, mean spirited, unsupportive, and hateful were drawn to me and why they turned their negativity on me.

I am going to tell you why. Are you ready?

1. Opposites Sometimes Do Attract.

You may be giving and attract a taker. You may be kind and attract someone rude. It is not always true that we attract who we are. You may be loving and attract someone critical, rude, mean.

2. Poor Boundaries.

People treat us the way we let them treat us. Some see meekness (strength under control) as weakness. If we do not set a boundary, “You may not treat me that way, you may not talk to me that way, no this is not okay,” then we invite disrespect. It’s a conversation that must start early, not months into the relationship.

I had a lady tell me once (long ago), “I know no matter how bad I treat you, you will always be there for me.” I thought to myself, “What kind of crazy have I signed up for.”

Loving someone does not mean you let them treat you poorly. That is called enabling. It is a form of codependency. Some think God is this way. He is not. His love does not change. He is not cheering when we misbehave. God sets boundaries-“If you do this, this is the result.” God allows natural consequences. He does not remove every consequence this side of heaven.

So with this lady, I pulled back from being her default when she had no boyfriend, the person who answered her calls in crisis. I removed myself from being a doormat under the umbrella of false love.

More examples:

I have an associate who is negative. This person loves to complain and focus on what is wrong. It drains me. I told the person this week, “I would love when we talk for it to be about something positive, goals, good things. What’s going right? There is enough crazy in the world, let’s be the change we wish to see.” I set a boundary. Please keep your constant complaining in your yard. Do I love this person, yes. Do I want to listen to hours of doom, gloom, negativity, gossip, he said/she said…no. I am not a garbage can.

I had a gentleman pursuing me who always wanted to wait until the last minute to set dates. I told him I would appreciate advance notice (not all the time-yet it was considerate to give others notice); texting me Friday afternoon to meet Friday night is a no go for constant meet ups. I set a boundary. He did not listen. So often he’d texted on Friday or Saturday afternoon and I was busy.

My female friend said it was a game to see if I was seeing other people. I am an adult. I only play games with actual children. Some may have thought that was cute. I did not. Maybe if we were a couple and had been dating awhile, yet not for someone I do not know well this was a no go and setting dates signifies value. Yes, be spontaneous…Also take the time to plan something. Gentlemen say, “I would love to see you Friday night, do you have plans?” That conversation happens before Friday. I am not clearing every weekend hoping a guy messages me. I have things to do.

If you make yourself so available to everyone, they will treat you like you have no value. If you do not value your time, value yourself, why should they? I am not saying play hard to get nor play games. I am saying if you do not respect and value your own time, others will not either.

Place God at the center. Would God want me treated this way? If not, why are you allowing it? How much time do I need to invest in this relationship? How much of my heart can they steward well? God knows.

If you have poor or low boundaries, then you will find disorder and dysfunction and poor treatment.

3. Quick to Trust and Dismissing Relational Red Flags.

I consider myself trustworthy. Therefore, I give people the benefit of the doubt. I have learned to pay attention. Watch people. Watch how they treat people. Watch how they talk about others. Do they tell everyone else’s business? They are not trustworthy with your business. Do they only show up when they need something? You are most likely a convenience. Do you make all the effort? You are in a one sided relationship. If they destroy others, do not think they will not do it to you.

Many times red flags are ignored under the, “I am a loving Christian.” Okay, be a loving Christian with wisdom. Wisdom says, “Bad company corrupts good character.” Wisdom says, “How can two be joined unless they agree?” Wisdom says, “Do not make partners with an angry person.” These are all in the Bible right along with love your neighbor. You can love someone without dating them, being close friends, being business or ministry partners, or marrying them.

One of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou is as follows, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Unless they want to change or God changes them, that is what you are dealing with in a partner or friend.

4. You Are Pulling All the Relational Weight

I love giving. I love giving with no expectation of return. Yet there is wisdom required in giving as well. Too much time spent together, too much closeness without commitment, too much investment without any investment back is a set up for dysfunction.

Jesus loves perfectly and in exchange for our freedom He gave His life. When we enter into covenant, God asks for our life. Please understand God is not just giving, giving, giving and expecting nothing. He asks for our entire lives. It’s a bigger commitment than an earthly marriage.

This thought that selfless giving is to lead to one sided relationships is not covenant love. Relationships were designed to be give and take. If one person is doing all the work, it’s not love. Both people are to pursue the best interests of the other.

I have seen overgiving lead to abuse; it attracts narcissists and abusive people. Why? They thrive on taking. Selfless givers with no boundaries are easy targets.

A person who loves you will want to bless you too.

I have met so many people angry because they trusted too quickly, fell in love with the idea of someone, ignored red flags, and were burned poorly in a relationship. If you pay attention, people show you who they are. Their mouth speaks what their heart is full of and their actions, if you watch closely, manifest their heart and how they feel about you.

Placing God at the center can save us loads of heartache.

God help me to choose the right associates, friends, confidants, mate. Help me to set godly boundaries and respect those of others. I want to be the best friend I can be to someone and want that in return. Help me to not only be a blessing, but to cease settling for less than what you would offer. Break every cycle of dysfunction in my life and relationships. The common denominator is me. Show me what I am allowing or the poor or low boundaries. Help me to stay centered in you and have the best relationships possible. God help me to be healthy in my soul and attract and maintain relationships with healthy people. Jesus break cycles of dysfunction and it starts with me. Change me so I guard my heart and live out of wisdom and love! In Jesus powerful name.