Christian Dating 101

Dating 101: This is in response to an article I read this weekend from a Christian man telling other men to just keep pursuing a woman if she seems disinterested-just try harder. Stalking (endless unwanted pursuit) is not love.

Maybe when men pursue women have no clue what is happening. I have found this true in my life. Why? I am direct. I am not passive nor hint. I also don’t play games, nor operate with hidden motives. Men have tried playing games with me, and I only play games with little children. 🙂 or they have been very ambiguous and well I don’t do well with people who do not communicate clearly. Or they have assumed unmarried means I am on the prowl for a man and they are the cure for my singleness. Well, no. I could be married, I chose not to get married and don’t enjoy men thinking they are my savior. They are not trying to pursue to add any value, they come as pushy consumers. I don’t like pushy nor find selfishness appealing.

Sometimes men give other men poor advice on women. Sometimes women give poor advice to other women. I truly believe God designed all relationships to be rooted in His agape love. Love that is not selfish, desperate, one sided, lustful, controlling, abusive, pushy nor stalker like. These are my top 5 for dating:

1. Investigate why you want to pursue that person or relationship? Is it to be a blessing or to consume or meet selfish needs. People wrongly quote Paul, “Better to marry than burn in passion.” Paul was NOT encouraging marriage to cure lust. You can no more cure lust by getting married than cure alcoholism by going to a bar. Nor is it good to pursue someone to cure being lonely, avoid peer pressure, or fear of the biological clock. God gave Sarah a baby in her old age, God is not limited.

2. Is there anything you are bringing to the table to add value? Would you be an asset or liability to someone? We can add value by asking God to refine our character. Beauty and money can fade. Godly character is priceless.

3. Is the other person interested? This matters. If the person does not want you, leave them alone. They are not your puzzle piece or the timing is off. Continuing to pursue someone or pine over them when they do not want you can be emotionally toxic.

4. Are you and the other person linked in purpose? They never want to leave the country and you are called to overseas missions. God is smart enough to link people headed the same direction. Sometimes people just get married off chemistry and the same beliefs, yet they are not headed towards the same destiny.

5. Do you have compability outside loving Jesus? It takes more than the same faith to make relationships work. Are you spiritually compatible and do you mesh well outside of worship gatherings? Can you laugh together? Can you have fun together? Are you friends? Do you have anything in common? Do you have similiar vision?

Sometimes men are taught to just go after what they want without ever considering if the woman is interested. This is not wisdom. It’s actually selfish. Just wear her down with the pursuit. Ummm no. If she wants to be with you, she won’t keep running from you. Also every unmarried women is not desperate nor sees being single as a curse. Maybe asking God, “Is this woman someone I should pursue?” Or try being a friend with no super pressure to be your wife. Or state your intentions; “I like you, would like to get to know you better.”

Women can sometimes wrongly find identity in relationships with men or by being a mother. Some try to push this on other women. God does not tell us to find our identity in anyone other than God. Those who feel like they are nothing with someone have made an idol of man. If a woman pursues marriage to find herself, well if that man does not measure up or constantly validate her-she’s let down. God invites us to have one God. Women are also pressured to settle, have very low standards, and marry/have kids by a certain age. I think God would prefer people remain unmarried than marry out of selfishness/desperation.

I think it would wonderful if people had as their heart intention, “I want what is God’s best for this other person. God am I your very best for them? If so, show me how to love them as you do, how to add value to their life, and be a radical blessing.” For friendships, dating, or marriage-the world would be better if the hearts of people were rooted in God love. His love pursues to be a blessing.

What are your thoughts on dating?


Erin Lamb



Thriving in a Joseph Season

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Devotion: Thriving in a Joseph season. They may try to bury you, but God is going to elevate you. Overcoming sabotage and betrayal.

I love King David. I love the way God positioned David. David did not have to fight his way to the front of the line nor clamor for position. God saw David, God elevated David. David was hidden and quite insignificant in the eyes of others. People could not see what God saw when He looked at David. God saw a giant killer!

David was pursued by a jealous Saul. Yet the attempts of Saul to kill David were futile. God had a plan for David that could not be thwarted by the insecurity, jealousy, and hatred of Saul. David sought the Lord and was protected by God. He overcame not by power or might, but by God’s Spirit. He even said to Goliath, “I come in the name of the Lord.”

It is imperative when attacked to rely on God’s strength and wisdom, not our own. We overcome by His power and His strength, not our flesh.

Let’s talk about Joseph. Betrayal from family (spiritual or natural) is a far more challenging pill to swallow.

Joseph is sometimes tagged as arrogant because he shared his dream with his family. The bible does not call Joseph arrogant. He was enthusiastic. There is wisdom in understanding not everyone can hear your dream for jealousy can lead many to try to sabotage the dream. Some dreams are to hold close and pray for God to show you who’s going to come into agreement. Some may smile and try to sabotage the very thing they tell you they are prating for. We can learn from Jospeh.

God is so organized and such a great planner He already had the jealousy of Joseph’s brothers factored into the equation. He knew they would betray him. God knew Joseph would be thrown into a pit. God knew every step of the process to get Joseph from his father’s house to the Palace. God knew every detour, disappointment, attempt at sabotage, betrayal, and lie that would be spoken to Joseph that would lead to his promotion. People tried to bury Joseph, yet God placed seed in Jospeh.

When God speaks, it is seed. I love that Isaiah 55:11 says, “No word from God ever fails, it accomplishes all it is sent out to do.” When you blow seed on the land it will sink into the earth and grow. Unless that seed is eaten or plucked up, it is going to bring forth a harvest. God spoke seed to Joseph. It did not matter how many times people tried to bury him, the momentum of heaven was behind Jospeh to see the fulfillment of God’s destiny for him and a Nation.

So my encouragement to you is this, if God be for you, who can stand against you? Who can defeat the Lord, the Lord strong and mighty? Who can overthrow what God has ordained? God is more powerful than any force of a person or nature. God is the great I AM. He can open up the earth and swallow His enemies. He can part the Red Seas, raise the dead to life, move mountains. The winds and waves obey Him.

God prepares a table in the presence of your enemies. God is our feast!

You become my delicious feast

even when my enemies dare to fight.

You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit; you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows,~Psalm 23:5 (The Passion Translation).

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people,~Genesis 50:20.

God has a plan and it is good! No matter who comes against you, they are no match for the God who is for you. We can thrive in seasons of betrayal and sabotage by knowing God had it all worked into the equation, by knowing God is going to fulfill His word, and by knowing greater is He who is in us than He that is in the world. The champion of these stories is not David nor Joseph, it is God. God empowered both David and Joseph to overcome.

You and I can thrive instead of survive if we choose to follow Jesus and abide in Him during those challenges. God is good at turning ashes into beauty, mourning into joy, betrayal into elevation, and sabotage into promotion! Jesus is the perfect example of someone betrayed and sabotaged. If only the enemy knew his plan to destroy Jesus was going to elevate Him to the highest place in the Father’s Kingdom.

Papa, heal every soul wound on those sabatoged and hurt by betrayal. You have a plan to turn it for exceptional good. No weapon forged against your children will prosper. Heal the deep wounds and bring forth radical peace. Let your peace and comfort sink deep. Others may have tried to bury them, yet they are your seeds. Water the seed today. In Jesus powerful name, amen!

Love in Christ,

Erin Lamb

One Body, Many Parts (Identity in Christ Part 19)

MRI Showing Tumor in Spine

Hello dear friends. Tonight I wanted to talk about something I am passionate about, the Body of Christ. As His co-labors we are called to not only have a relationship with Him, but with other believers. Each member of the Body has a role to play. Christ is the head of the church. We cannot not function without Him. If we as the Body do nothing, how successful are we at building His Kingdom? If my body is paralyzed, I am not going to move as quick or be as effective. Let’s investigate what Paul had to say.

Unity and Diversity in the Body-1 Corinthians 12-31.

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.

In our western society we focus mainly on a few parts of the Body: pastors, missionaries, evangelists, and worship leaders. They are the noticeable parts of the Body. They are the honored parts of the Body. Well, what about everyone else? Paul states every person has a role to play and the parts that seem weaker are indispensable. The parts we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. What if your role in the Body is to invest in your children, or pass out flyers, or set up or tear down at church? What if your role is to infiltrate business, arts, media, education, politics, or your workplace with the Gospel and love of Jesus? What if what you do for God goes unnoticed by everyone but Him? It’s easy to look at other people and think God only uses certain people. It’s also easy in the western world to come to church Sunday after Sunday and not invest anything in anyone. It’s easy to come to be served instead of serve. It’s easy to go unnoticed in larger congregations, no one sees you come or go. It’s easy to not know anyone from your church. That is not what Paul told us we are to be. No condemnation here. We don’t invest out of guilt, but love. If we are forced to serve or invest in people or the Kingdom, God tells us we can keep our gifts.

What’s stopping us from being active parts of His Body? Here are some possible reasons.

1. We are comparing ourselves to others instead of looking to Christ to find out what role we are to play.

2. We think of church as a place to go instead of a community we are to be actively involved in.

3. We think God only uses and speaks to special people.

4. We are waiting on some sign to tell us what to do.

5. We are consumers instead of investors.

6. We are relying on someone else to do it. We rely heavily on the same people who are “called” instead of recognizing we are all called to fill a role.

7. We want a front and center role instead of an unrecognized one.

8.  We are waiting to be asked instead of volunteering or serving without being asked or noticed.

9. We don’t see how vital we are to the Body.

10. We are inward focused instead of community focused.

11. We think the Holy Spirit only works through certain people, “special people.”

First let me say the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead is working in born again believers. It’s not a different Holy Spirit for different people. I’ve seen children with spiritual insight and operating in the gifts of the Spirit. They are extremely effective because they are relying on God and aren’t filled with unbelief. God works through ordinary people.

Jesus told the disciples to preach the Gospel, heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the leper, drive out evil spirits, disciple others. We are called to do the same things. We are here to do what we saw Jesus doing. Freely we received, freely we give (Matthew 10:8). We all have a role we can play. The role no matter how small we think it is, is important to God.

What if you’re wondering how to daily or weekly bless the Body of Christ. I talked to a friend tonight about this very topic, we can think of how we enjoy blessing people and do that. If you like hosting events, be a host. If you like kids, volunteer to help a mom or in children’s ministry. If you enjoy encouraging people, encourage people. If you like giving, give. If you have words of wisdom or insight, share them. If you enjoy praying for people, pray. If you like teaching, teach. God encourages us to eagerly ask for opportunities to bless others. He is not stingy. He will use us mightily for Him. I read a quote that I love, “We can all do great things as long as we don’t care who gets the credit.” We are all called to bear one anther’s burdens, pray, give, share, love. There are ways we can all be a blessing.

Closing thoughts:

You have a significant role to play that no other person was destined to play. You are a crucial part of Christ’s Body. No part is insignificant or not valued. I was in a car accident the end of January and had one rib out of place and two cervical disks out of alignment. The nerve pain radiated down my arms, to my fingers. The burning pain was awful. The tops of my feet felt like they were on fire. I could not get comfortable. It took the Spine specialist ~10 minutes to put them back into alignment and the pain was gone. It wasn’t my brain, heart, lungs, or major organs malfunctioning. It was a small rib and two disks that impacted most of my body. I even had tingling on face. Every part must work for the Body to be as effective as it can be.

May we never forget we are to work together to build God’s Kingdom. We all have a role to play and it’s for His Glory.

The Point of Christian Fellowship

Wrote this today as I pondered what’s the point of our worship gatherings. Hope it blesses you.

The Fellowship of the Believers Acts 2

42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

What is the point of Christian fellowship? Sometimes I look around at church and it seems like a big party. Even our small groups seem like a party at times. People show up for the snacks and want to hang out and make friends, some are spouse shopping or looking for a friend. All those things are good things. They are great things! God wants us to enjoy each other and have a good time. The problem comes when we believe that is all church is for. It’s one big party where people are supposed to make us feel good. What can we learn from the first church see passage above.

1.       They adhered to the teachings of the apostles. We can spend our entire lives in church and still miss God. How? If we are not applying and adhering to His teachings we are just taking up space on Sunday.

2.       They prayed together. Prayer is vital. Not one person praying but they all prayed together.

3.       They had everything in common. This means unity of spirit. They weren’t bickering, fighting, filled with offense, and strife. They had God in common and focused their attention on Him.

4.       They gave sacrificially to those in need. The Acts church sold their possessions to care for those who did not have. They were outward focused. Each person connected to each other. They didn’t come to be served. They came to serve.

5.       They ate together and fellowshipped outside of church. They viewed church as family.

6.       They praised God together. Worship was a part of everyday life.

7.       Point each other to Jesus (added by me). Part of community is pointing another person to Jesus. Jesus never agreed with the disciples sin or went along with their poor behavior. He corrected in love. He used every moment as a teaching moment.

I had someone tell me in community that she didn’t want me pointing out areas for improvement based on the Bible for her life. She wanted to me to hang out and simply agree with any sin she partook in. Well, I will tell you part of Christian community is pointing each other to Jesus and the Bible. Any person who knows Jesus and refuses to point you to Him, doesn’t love you. Sin leads to death. And while Jesus paid for the eternal consequences of our sin, the sins we commit still impact us and those around us.

I am thankful for people who will point me to Jesus in a loving way. The Bible is the blueprint they use for correction, not their own opinions. And I am thankful for any person who wants me to be more like Christ.

Are you in a community that’s like the Acts church? Are you fellowshipping with people who point you to Jesus, sacrificially give, promote unity, share, love, and serve together? Are you in a community that challenges you to be become more like Jesus? There’s no perfect church or pastor or leader. However, I believe the Acts church had it right. The point of our worship gatherings isn’t to just have one big party. Each member of the Body of Christ is called to do their part to encourage and build up the other members so as one unit we become more like Christ. Our pastors aren’t there to spoon feed us the word and then we go home. We are called as members of God’s body to seek Him for ourselves, to know God for ourselves, to join forces in unity to represent Him as a whole. That is what Christ died for, a Bride that functions as one unit. As Bill Johnson says, “Jesus is returning for a church who’s body is in equal proportion to her head (Jesus).”
May God bless you friends. And may we all take our place within the Body of Christ to be who we were called to be. Each member is crucial to the functioning of the church. We weren’t called to sit on the bench. Every part is needed in order for us to fulfill God’s will in the earth. You are valuable. Get out there and seize the day!



Relationship or Fellowship

The church I have been attending has been doing a series on 1 John called Walking in the Light.  It’s been a great series. Here are some thoughts from the teachings and teaching points.
What is the ultimate cause of the church?

God’s greatest cause is His Glory (His reputation) which is revealed through Christ.  We exist to bring God Glory. We also glorify God when we fellowship with His Body (other believers).

Fellowship or Relationship?

Relationship is different from fellowship. A person can have a child and be related to them, but have no fellowship with that child. We can be related to one another in the body of Christ by His Spirit and have no fellowship with each other.

What is Fellowship: Fellowship involves trust, intimacy, transparency (no masks or pretense), vulnerability, investment, common purpose, communion, submission, looking out for another person’s best interests, speaking the truth, correction and rebuking, edification, encouragement, and affirmation, and helping another person become more like Christ, mourning with those who mourn, and rejoicing with those who rejoice. Fellowship often involves covenant commitment. Fellowship involves mutual serving. Fellowship is a heart to heart connection, not just a face to face connection.

Fellowship has a purpose and is not a aimless activity. 

Many will claim relationship or being related to God who have no fellowship with Him.  We claim fellowship with one another in Christ, but are we simply relating and having aimless relationships and not fellowship?

Christian love is the act of serving each other and helping each other to become more like Christ. The purpose of Christian discipleship is intentional time spent to point each other back to the gospel. What does God’s word say? What is God speaking? Are we pointing people to Jesus, helping them become all that they can for Him, or are we simply spending time? Are we watching a person self destruct to for fear of man, or are we willing to tell a person that God’s plan is so much better? The pastor told the story of having spinach in his teeth. He said a person who loves you will tell you that your teeth are filled with spinach. They won’t let you walk around with gunk in your teeth. The same goes for us. If we can watch each other suffer, hurt, sin, and not help, we are guilty of not walking in love.


I believe there is tremendous fruit when the purpose for being with someone is known, when the vision is shared, when there is a heart to heart connection, when the common purpose is glorifying God. I believe that fellowship was and is God’s design, not relationships as we have them. I believe God meant for us to do life together and point each other to Him. I believe He intended for us to serve one another continually, not just be served.  I believe that a church built on mutual love, service, accountability, unity, common purpose, and Jesus centered relationships will change the world. I believe we can change the world if we continue to ask the questions, “

How can I help this person be more like Jesus? How can I encourage this person to be more like Jesus? How can I pray for this person to be more like Jesus? Who does God want my heart connected to? Who does God want me to invest in for the Kingdom? Where and with whom should I spend my time serving? Is God being glorified by my relationships and how I spend time?”


Abba I pray that You would bring believers into our lives that we can grow with. Partner us up with others to have heart to heart connections and not just face to face encounters. Send people our way who will continually point to You and encourage us to be more like You. Send us people who will love as You love, speak as You speak, and those who help fulfill Your purposes for our lives. Help us to have God centered fellowship. Help us to use our time to be the most impactful for the Kingdom. Use us and spend us like Your spare change. Keep the focus on what You want to do in and though us. Help us to serve. Help us to love. Help us to disciple each other and the nations. Thanks for all You’ve done. Amen.


Have a wonderful week. You are deeply loved.