Growing in the Prophetic

Happy Growing in the Prophetic Sunday! (A Longer Post-Yet It Was Heavy On My Heart).

I love that God speaks. I love that God LOVES to communicate with us. I also love that Paul advises us to test all prophecies, not some prophecies-ALL prophecy to see if it is of the Lord (1 Thessalonians 5:20-21).

In order to test something, there needs to be a plumb line [a], and I believe it is the word of God and the character of God. They cannot be separated; who God is and what is revealed in God’s word.

Scripture does not contain God, it reveals Him. The Holy Spirit is our teacher and the very best at helping us test things.

In a digital age where anyone can get online and state they have the word or a word from the Lord, it is imperative we test it all.

In an age where anyone can slap “Prophet” on their business card, it is imperative we test things. When the Lord spoke to me about being a prophet, I trembled. I did not want the job. Being honest. I did not tell anyone. I told no one…I was like, “Oh please don’t send me to talk to people.” Being honest-maybe why I like Moses so much. I simply started journaling what I sensed was from God and dating those things. I have 10+ years of prophetic journals. God spoke to me as a kid/young adult. It was not until the past 4-5 years other people started stating, “God has called you to be a prophet.” I did not tell them. I simply stayed in a place of “God teach me, shape me, mold me, deal with my character, teach me to love, help me to live out of intimacy with you, refine me, and lead me on the path of integrity and righteousness for your name’s sake. I want to possess and know your character.”

From the time of God speaking, to confirmation from others was roughly 14 years. Yep. 14 years of no one speaking anything over me. I would go to meetings and no one would have a word for me. I did not mind. I did hear God say, “I am teaching you to rely on my voice and not that of others.”

Being a prophet is not something to glory in, for we can boast of only one thing-Jesus Christ and His work. Every part of God’s Body has significant value and worth, each assignment is HIGHLY valuable. Prophets often endure interesting persecution and well humility is our best friend. I also think it is wise to ask God to refine us so what we speak truly is the voice of the Lord and not our own made up speech.

How can we test these things? What we hear, what we see, what we think is from God? How do we know what is simply bubbling up from our soul?

1. Be a person of the word of God. Study with Holy Spirit. “God reveal your truth, by your Spirit.” God will not violate His word. He can violate our understanding, so study is important. “God you teach me,” not “I have always been taught this, so I know.”

2. Understanding the character of God. God is LOVE. Even the rebukes of God are aimed at loving us. He is a surgeon, not a butcher. God does what He says He will do. God is faithful. God is not flakey, rude, wishy washy, crazy, double minded, hateful, pushy, proud, hyper critical, nor does God try to manipulate, control, humiliate, or force His will on us. God let’s us choose. I think this one get’s some people (the character of God). It’s so easy to say, “God said…” and just walk away like we are the authority in people’s lives. No, we are not. If God says something, God will do it. If we say it, just to get our way, or try to hurt someone or make ourselves look good, then God is not obligated to do any of it. Before we say, “God said,” taking time to test it and wait. God is not impatient.

God is this really you?

God does this reflect your heart?

God is this the right timing or setting to release this word?

God I would like confirmation.

Does this reflect love to the other person?

Does this violate scripture or their free will to choose?

Would I want this spoken over me?

Will this word draw the person closer to Jesus? Closer to the heart and character of Jesus?

Is this tainted with a critical spirit?

Pride and a critical spirit can be a detriment to a prophetic person or prophet. Continual yielding our hearts to God softens us and fills us with compassion and God love. Love and pride cannot occupy the same spaces. God love pushes out pride and thinks about what is best for the other person, not self. Pride is hyper focused on self. “Well I will get tell this person like it is!” with zero concern for the recipient. God thinks about the receiver of the message. God also does not need to manipulate anyone to get His way. God has no fear in Him. Control and manipulation are fruits of fear.

It can seem powerful and bold to just blurt out everything we think is God. Yet wisdom says, “Let me pause and see if this is really God or my flesh/soul.” The soul can evoke some feelings that make it seem like it’s on point with God and it’s not. I heard a great story from Kris Vallotton. He said he became excited in a meeting and gave this man a wonderful word. Later that evening, as he was lying on his bed, the Lord spoke to him, “Kris, that was a great word you gave that man.” Kris replied, “That was your word Lord!” God replied, “No, that was you.”

Intimacy with God helps us to grow in the prophetic. Revelation is a byproduct of intimacy. As we abide in Jesus, rest in Jesus, listen to Jesus…we begin to release the aroma and heart of Jesus when we speak. He beckons us into His heart. True prophecy is the testimony of Jesus. It points to the very nature of Jesus, the character of Jesus, the love of Jesus. It is more than providing information, it is a relationship building tool to help us and others connect with the heart of God. Before we say, “God said,” may there be an investigation-“Is this aligned with God’s heart.”

[a] A cord weighted with lead that is used in building to check that vertical structures are true. It is used symbolically to refer to the divine standard against which God, the builder of his people, tests and judges them. It also symbolizes the standards by which God will rebuild his people.

The plumb-line as the measuring tool of a structure

Zec 1:16; Zec 4:9-10 Using the plumb-line Zerubbabel will carry out his God-given task of building the temple. See also Jer 31:38-40; Zec 2:1-2

Art: Pinterest

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

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Live for the Well Done of Heaven!

Morning Notes: It’s for God’s Glory not the Applause of Mankind. Live for the Well Done of Heaven.

The applause of heaven far surpasses the applause of mankind. I have learned in my journey of life that people can scream they love you one minute, think you are amazing, and turn quickly to ignoring you or persecuting you the next moment. The affections and applause of humanity is often rooted in feelings and subject to change in a moment.

People, human beings, also see in part and know in part. God sees everything and searches the heart. God knows who we really are even more than we do. God’s opinion of who we are trumps our own self assessments.

God is stable, consistent, and His opinions of everyone and everything are valid. There is no deception in God nor mistakes.

The assessment of God is just. The assessment of God is righteous. The assessment of God is truth.

To live already approved of in Jesus (we have repented and made a decision to make Him Lord) is a blessing. Then the opinions and assessments of people do not matter. Yes we evaluate correction, criticism-God is any of this to be taken in and assessed? Yes we listen to wise council and test everything presented to us. Yet we do not live in the land of being guided by the perceptions of people.

Who does God say that we are? This is the path to stay on and pursue. God show me who I am through your eyes and help me to stay on the path of righteousness for your names sake! I am living for an audience of one; knowing at the end of my life God will not hold a committee of my peers to assess my value, worth, successes or failures. God’s opinion+no one else’s=proper judgement.

Over the course of my life I have met numerous people who felt empowered to speak their ideas or thoughts about who I am and who I am not, what I am to do and what I am not to do. Well, anything not aligned with what God says goes in the garbage. Why? We are who God says we are and can do all God says we can do. Our heavenly assignments are predetermined by God. He put together our gift mix. He set up our potential opportunities. He gave us gifts and talents to enjoy and match our calling. God did! Who we ultimately are was carved out by God and placed on our DNA before we ever spoke a word (Psalm 139). We are God’s workmanship created for His glory.

Part of picking up our cross and following Jesus is dying to our own opinions. Do we think we know better than God? Do we think we have better ideas than God? If so, we have succumb to pride. Pride is an evil mistress and the principle sin of Satan. Pride believes it knows best above God. Pride keeps us focused on who we think we are and who we think we are not. At the center of pride is self….me…me….me…me. It sings the symphony of me! Pride is a killer of destiny. Pride fuels comparison-“Look at what Susie is doing! Oh I am far more spiritual than Susie. She thinks she knows, I know,” or “I am not as together as Susie.” Comparison is self focused and we either come out better than (superior) or less than (inferior). It’s pride. The bible tells us not to compare ourselves nor put weight on our own assessments.

May we die to self. May we die to the opinions of others and our own opinions. May we crucify the thoughts that puff us up in ourselves instead of exalt Jesus. We can only boast in the Lord and who He is. Yes we honor others and celebrate, we also know apart from God we can do nothing (John 15:4-5). God is the source. Therefore, we are not pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. We are learning the deepness of surrender. God here I am, take all of me. I surrender it all. All for your glory. All for your goodness. All for your story to be made famous on the earth! I surrender my preconceived thoughts and plans and choose to align myself with you. Jesus did what He saw you doing. Jesus spoke what He heard you speaking. Jesus lived a full life of surrender.

Love,

Erin Lamb

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Prophecy Webcast!

Since we have been focused on growing in confidence through intimacy with God, there was a teaching today on hearing from God, testing what we hear, discernment, and intimacy with God.

You can watch today’s webcast here: Erin Lamb Author Page.

You may also watch the last two weeks of webcasts on the FB page.

Blessing you!

Love,

Erin Lamb

The Responsible Prophet (Revelation Series Part III)

God speaks. I love that God speaks through His written word and also to our hearts/minds/spirits. The things we hear or sense in our mind, heart, or spirit still need tested and weighed against the character, nature, and word of God. God has incredible things to say, this does not mean that we simply run rouge with what we think is God. It requires some wisdom and self control.

I have seen in meetings prophetic people just take over, speak over others, snatch microphones, and behave in ways that are absolutely ungodly. Some believe their word from the Lord is the most important. In actuality, God is a God of order. God is not a God of confusion, chaos, or crazy. God is also not disrespectful nor dishonoring.

Paul addressed the conduct of believers in the church at Corinth. They were struggling with issues in their services. He had the following to say:

Guidelines for Use of the Gifts

1 Corinthians 14:26-33 (The Passion Translation)

Beloved friends, what does all this imply? When you conduct your meetings, you should always let everything be done to build up the church family. Whether you share a song of praise, a teaching, a divine revelation, or a tongue and interpretation, let each one contribute what strengthens others.

If someone speaks in a tongue, it should be two or three, one after another, with someone interpreting. If there’s no one with the interpretation, then he should remain silent in the meeting, content to speak to himself and to God.

And the same with prophecy. Let two or three prophets prophesy and let the other prophets carefully evaluate and discern what is being said.

But if someone receives a revelation while someone else is still speaking, the one speaking should conclude and allow the one with fresh revelation the opportunity to share it. For you can all prophesy in turn and in an environment where all present can be instructed, encouraged, and strengthened.

Keep in mind that the anointing to prophesy doesn’t mean that the speaker is out of control-he can wait his turn. For God is the God of harmony, not confusion, as is the pattern in all the churches of God’s holy believers.

Any person who believes God is speaking, can wait their turn. They can listen to others. They can take time to address their word before releasing it to others. I have held on to things until God gave me permission to release and when it was released, the person stated the timing was perfect.

God is not pushy.

God is not hurried.

God is not wreckless.

God is not dishonoring.

God is not crazy.

God is not the author of confusion.

God is not chaotic.

God is not a lunatic.

God is not abusive, nor does God seek to embarrass or humiliate people.

Over the years I have encountered some pretty irresponsible prophets and prophetic people. I have rebuked a few for publicly humiliating people, misrepresenting God, being harmful and prophesying out of their woundedness. We will give an account to God for our words. We will give an account to God for how we stewarded His gifts and people.

If we think something is from God, we can pause and ask:

  • Does this align with the character and word of God?
  • Is this going to draw anyone closer to the heartbeat of God?
  • Will people be edified or convicted in a good way?
  • Is this coming from my soul (mind, will, emotions) or truly from God?
  • If my words are to cut away something, am I like a surgeon or butcher? (Surgeons cut to heal; butchers cut to destroy).
  • Am I giving people an opportunity to weigh and test what I say?
  • Is my heart overflowing with love? Out of the heart the mouth speaks.
  • Am I operating in honor and order or disorder and dishonor?

I try to check in with people after words are given. Does this resonate with you? Or even check in later to see if the word was applicable/came to pass. I believe it helps us to gain feedback instead of just saying, “Thus sayeth the Lord! You must receive whatever I just verbally spoke over you.” It is helpful to give people room to test what we think we are sensing from God. Then they can come back and say, “Yes, that resonated with me,” or “That’s new.”

We are not God. We yield to God. I think it’s imperative we honor the role of the prophetic. It is not to be a God substitute, it is to draw people closer to God. Nor are prophets to be rude, unruly, chaotic, unloving, and crazy. God is love. If our gifts are not flowing from genuine love, then we are missing the point of ministry. Jesus was moved with love and compassion. He was not crazy, irresponsible, rude, nor unbecoming.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 The Passion Translation (TPT)

Love, the Motivation of Our Lives

If I were to speak with eloquence in earth’s many languages, and in the heavenly tongues of angels,[yet I didn’t express myself with love, my words would be reduced to the hollow sound of nothing more than a clanging cymbal.

And if I were to have the gift of prophecy with a profound understanding of God’s hidden secrets, and if I possessed unending supernatural knowledge, and if I had the greatest gift of faith that could move mountains, but have never learned to love, then I am nothing.

And if I were to be so generous as to give away everything I owned to feed the poor, and to offer my body to be burned as a martyr, without the pure motive of love, I would gain nothing of value.

Love is large and incredibly patient.

Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance.

Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.

God may we walk in love and wisdom. When we speak to others, may they hear your voice uncontaminated. May we be those who speak life, edify, build up, and walk in honor.

Love,

Erin Lamb

Know the Character of God (Revelation Series Part II)

Photo: Pinterest (Character of God)

The last post we talked about knowing the word of God and studying the word of God with the Holy Spirit. Today I want to discuss knowing the character of God. It is just as important to know God personally and understand His character.

What is character?

char·ac·ter

ˈkerəktər/

noun

1. the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

If we do not know the character of God, it can lead to massive deception. There are quite a few representing a God they do not know. They can tell you information about God, yet they do not know God intimately.

I love the quote that says, ”Don’t worry about your reputation, it is who people say you are. Be more concerned with your character because that is who you really are.” It is important that we understand who God is, not who others say God is-who is God?

It is possible to think we know God, think we are worshipping God and actually be in a position where we are worshipping a God created in our own image. I heard another quote I loved. The author said, ”If God has all the same opinions you have, you may not be worshipping God at all.

There is something about God that is counter to our culture. God is higher! God’s ways are higher.

The Bible gives us a blueprint of the character of God, His essence, His attributes, and His nature. We must not pull isolated verses and passages, but study the whole of scripture with God AND pursue intimacy with God (knowing Him for ourselves/build history with God).

When we know the character of God it will help us to discern the words people speak and claim came from God. If we live by second hand information, then we can be easily deceived.

The Pharisees knew the Torah. They believed they knew God, yet Jesus informed them that they did not know God at all.

Jesus rebukes the Pharisees: Jesus and the Pharisees. The Pharisees knew of God, they did not know the true and living God. They missed the God standing right in front of them.

Get To Know The Author:

People who know me, truly know me, spend time with me, invite me into their lives, and know my character are a far better judge of what is from me than those who only read my blog, books, or have heard of me.

God is everywhere, yet God is not hosted everywhere. You can go to a party and not be hosted. You can be ignored, not acknowledged, unheard, and treated as insignificant.

God may be omnipresent, yet not everyone is filled with the Spirit of God. Not everyone is led by the Spirit of God. Not everyone hosts the presence of God. Not everyone has an intimate relationship with God where He is known, pursued, followed, and experienced. I have been invited places then ignored or mistreated. If you asked those people who I am, who knows what they would tell you. They know of me. They do not know me.

Anyone can repeat what they have heard, yet someone who is intimate with the author is a better witness and discerner of what is from the author.

God is inviting us to know Him and not just things about Him.

Part of knowing is experience, and testing those experiences by His word. Part is studying the Bible WITH God.

There are many people who claim to know God and what they teach or manifest violates the character of God. The God they worship does not match the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob.

Some believe the God of the Old Testament died and the new God is like a fluffy Santa who has no requirements for righteous living. This is false. The New Covenant is far better and changes the way we access God. It does not change who God is. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

Purifying Revelation:

Our revelation is often filtered by our understanding of God. This is why you meet people who can prophesy overly critical and quite hateful things. Some truly believe they are hearing from God. Some can substantiate their message with a part of scripture, yet if you take what is said and hold it up to the character of God and the whole of scripture it fails the test.

I would love to give you a few examples to potentially help with understanding.

I was sent a prophesy for 2018 from several friends. It was very popular on YouTube and social media. At a certain point of the prophesy the person stated that this year God was going to punish greatly those who did not honor the flag of the United States and bankrupt American football. This was all going to happen this year because God was angry with those who did not honor the flag (there has been great controversy over kneeling football players).

The prophesy did not set right with my spirit nor match the character of God. God does desire honor; God does not force honor. If He did, why isn’t God striking dead or cursing those who dishonor His Son Jesus? God places a higher value on His Son than on our flag. God will execute final judgement on the world, yet this prophesy was political and I sensed the soul/flesh of the speaker coming through.

The highest concern of God is the Kingdom of Heaven. The highest concern of heaven is reconciliation of a lost world to the Father. Heaven rejoices when one sinner repents.

The kindness of God leads to repentance. Prophets of old and the new covenant spoke Kingdom of heaven not the rhetoric of the culture. They upheld the precepts of the Gospel. This part of the prophesy was not primarily about Jesus or His Kingdom. It was about the cultural clash of the day.

Second examine these scriptures:

”Your ancestors have also been taught ‘Love your neighbors and hate the one who hates you.’However, I say to you, love your enemy, bless the one who curses you, do something wonderful for the one who hates you, and respond to the very ones who persecute you by praying for them.For that will reveal your identity as children of your heavenly Father. He is kind to all by bringing the sunrise to warm and rainfall to refresh whether a person does what is good or evil.What reward do you deserve if you only love the loveable? Don’t even the tax collectors do that?How are you any different from others if you limit your kindness only to your friends? Don’t even the ungodly do that?Since you are children of a perfect Father in heaven, you are to be perfect like him.”~ JesusMatthew 5:43-48 the Passion Translation.

There are also football players and owners who love God. So why would God bankrupt His own children to punish a few kneeling football players? How does that express the justice, kindness, mercy, and love of God? How does this part of the prophesy align with the character of God? God was willing to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if He could find righteous people there.

Genesis 18: 22-26.

The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord. Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”

The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

Abraham had an understanding of the character of God. God is just. God is not unfair. God is a Savior. Jesus came to save. What God allows (does not prevent) is not always the express will of God. God wishes that none would perish yet people still die in their sins. They choose death and hell. God does not force it on anyone.

The prophets who speak of no redemption may not be speaking the heart of God. Even old testament prophets gave the people warnings so they could repent and be spared/redeemed. God reveals to heal and exposes to redeem. God is good.

Here is a personal example. I have had numerous people prophesy things over my life that absolutely did not match the character of God. I had one lady say to me that God was going to give me an ugly husband, that he wasn’t going to be very good, yet I should be happy with it. Basically God was going to give me less than. First I do not pray for a spouse, women project this onto me because it’s what they want/need. Second, I truly believe Ephesians 3:20 is true that God wants to EXCEED our expectations. God gives good gifts. I am not stating looks are the most important, they are not. Her prophesy was essentially God wanted to give me less than His best for me and I was to just accept whatever. This does not match the character of God. The Bible tells me the following:

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change, ~James 1:17.

Intimacy is vital to prophesy the heart of God. It is not speaking our thoughts and opinions. The prophets of old took seriously speaking for God. They held the revelation of God in high esteem. They were not reckless with the wisdom, insight, and words of God.

Final Notes:

What can we learn about the character of God?

  • God is holy! There is no sin in God nor does He approve of any sin.
  • God is love (sacrificial, unselfish, and perfect love). God sacrificially loves even His enemies.
  • God is just. There is no injustice in God. Sin has a penalty of death and God poured out that penalty on Jesus so whosoever repented and placed their faith in Him could be free of paying that personal penalty.
  • God is good! God does not give sloppy, worthless, awful gifts. ”So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him, ”~Matthew 7:11.
  • God is redemptive! God longs to see the world reconciled to Him. He exposes to heal and restore.
  • God is truth! God tells the truth.
  • God is faithful! If God gives His word, God will keep His word. God keeps every single promise He makes.
  • God loves the sinner! While yet sinners Jesus died for us.
  • God is after relationship! God wants to be known by us and have a personal, intimate relationship with us.
  • God is compassionate and merciful! Compassion moves us beyond feeling bad for things happening to others to doing something to help them. Jesus was moved with compassion and healed the sick. He felt their pain and was moved to do something to help them.
  • God forgives. God loves to restore and is kind to us to lead us to repentance.
  • God loves everyone, including those who hate Him. God is not prejudice, racist, elitist, sexist, nor is He only interested in Americans.
  • God desires obedience; it is better than sacrifice. God still requires something from us. Those who are lawless (have no regard for the commands of God), will not inherit His Kingdom (Matthew 7:23).
  • God is the judge. God is perfect at His execution of justice. He will judge the world.
  • God is wise. The wisdom of God far surpasses human intellect.
  • God is the giver of good gifts.
  • God wants His very best for His children.
  • God is a provider and deliverer. He moves on behalf of His children.
  • God is sovereign and reigns supreme.
  • God nurtures His children. God is not only a strong tower and defender. God refers to Himself as a mother/nurturer/teacher.
  • God is a builder and gardener.
  • God is a mentor and servant leader. Jesus said the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom.
  • God is a helper. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. God is an ezer-source of great strength.
  • God reaches low to lift others higher. Jesus showed us the Father. Jesus reached low to elevate humanity.
  • God values honor. Honor is is not agreeing with everyone about everything. It is choosing to respect someone and treat them with dignity.
  • God cares about every single detail of our lives. God cares more about His children than earthly parents care about theirs.
  • God is strategic and His timing is perfect. God does not half do things nor work sloppily. God is perfect.
  • God loves us as we are yet longs to see us grow to be the very best version of ourselves. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more or less. He also cares about every detail of our growth.
  • God is close to the broken hearted and saves those crushed in spirit. The suffering of humanity matters to God.
  • God is Spirit. God embodies the characteristics of male and female. God is not like us, we were created in His image. Though painted as male, God is not like a human male. God created both genders in His image (see Genesis 1:27).
  • God cares deeply for orphans, widows, the poor, refugees, and the outcasts. Jesus was a refugee. God cares deeply for the people society may ignore or hate.

There are certainly more things that could be written about God. I hoped to give a foundation, not complete the entire picture. We have a great invitation to know God and pursue Him. We have the opportunity to know God for ourselves. When we know God for ourselves, we are less deceived by every proclaiming representative of God.

We are also better testers of what we think we are hearing and sensing from God if we know His character. If I know His word and His character, it helps to decifer what is of God, what is from my flesh or soul, and what is from the devil.

My encouragement is to filter revelation not only through the word of God, filter through the character of God.

God help us to know you, truly know you and your character. Increase our intimacy with you and help us to know you intimately. Remove any flaws in our thinking of who you are. Clear our hearts and minds of any deception or flawed perceptions. Thank you for the opportunity to know you! In Jesus powerful name. Amen.

Love in Christ,

Erin Lamb

P.S Book 2 is scheduled to be released 7/7/2018. I hope you pick it up on Amazon or my business website https://www.empowered-free.com.

New Series (Revelation of God)

We live in a culture where there are numerous opinions of who God is and what God has said or is saying. There are internet prophets and spokespeople all claiming to know God and speak for Him. How do you discern who is truly representing God? How do you know if what you are given is truly from the heart of God or just someone’s opinion?

The greatest revealer of God was and is perfectly one with the Father. He is Jesus.

This new series will focus on revelation, testing revelation, prophecy, the spirit of prophecy, discerning, and how we grow in intimacy with God.

God invites us to know Him.

Revelation is a byproduct of intimacy. It is a connection heart to heart and spirit to spirit with God.

Revelation should bring us closer to God. When God speaks there is a purpose and reason. Every word from God is seed. Those seeds are intended to grow something, to connect us to His heartbeat, to infuse us with purpose, destiny, and guidance. Isaiah 55:11 says, “No word from shall ever fail, it accomplishes all it is sent out to do.”

It is imperative that we know His voice for ourselves and not just run after every movement that says, “God said.”

There are people teaching there is no hell and everyone goes to heaven despite their lack of love for God. This teaching is antichrist; it opposes the very teachings of Jesus who said, “Many, many will cry out to be Lord, Lord and I will reply, ‘Depart from Me. I never knew you, you who practice lawlessness.'” See Matthew 7:21-23. Jesus had direct words on eternal damnation for the unrepentant (Luke 16:19-31, Matthew 10:28, Luke 10:15, Matthew 25:46, Matthew 13:24-30, Matthew 25:41, and there are more!).

It may seem fun to follow the path of those who claim an angel showed up and told them something contrary to scripture or “God” told them something contrary to scripture and the character of God. It is not wisdom to follow anyone who violates the very teachings of Jesus and claim to be Christian.

Jesus said the following (John 14:18-26):

 “I promise that I will never leave you helpless or abandon you as orphans—I will come back to you! Soon I will leave this world and they will see me no longer, but you will see me, because I will live again, and you will come alive too.

So when that day comes, you will know that I am living in the Father and that you are one with me, for I will be living in you. Those who truly love me are those who obey my commands. Whoever passionately loves me will be passionately loved by my Father. And I will passionately love you in return and will manifest my life within you.”

Then one of the disciples named Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “Lord, why is it you will only reveal your identity to us and not to everyone?”

Jesus replied, “Loving me empowers you to obey my word. And my Father will love you so deeply that we will come to you and make you our dwelling place. But those who don’t love me will not obey my words. The Father did not send me to speak my own revelation, but the words of my Father. I am telling you this while I am still with you. But when the Father sends the Spirit of Holiness, the One like me who sets you free, he will teach you all things in my name. And he will inspire you to remember every word that I’ve told you.

Jesus spoke the very words of the Father. The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy (Revelation 19:10). Jesus invites us all to know Him and the Father. Jesus invites us to know His word, His character, His nature, and His heart. The invitation of revelation is for relationship. God invites us into relationship with Him.

Over this series I am praying that you and I have profound encounters with the heart of God. I am praying we grow deeper in knowing Him intimately. I am praying we have an even greater revelation of who God is.

Thank you God for the ability to know you. Remove any cobwebs, dividing walls, deception, and distance between our hearts and yours. Take us deeper than we have been before in knowing you for who you are and not who others have made you out to be. In the powerful name of Jesus, amen.

Be blessed today! You are prayed for and deeply loved!

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

Relational Lessons Learned Part II

Lessons learned on dealing with the opposite sex.

I am also including information from years of peer counseling, having female friends, talking to those divorced, talking to those in good relationships, working with mostly males, talking to men, and doing soul healing sessions with the abused. I hope this helps someone.

1. Seek God in prayer not only over female friendships, but those with men or men who want to pursue you for dating or marriage. I pray, “God show me who this person really is. What is their heart like and what is their motivation for connection?”

Some men are looking for something pretty and shiny to play with, you are not a toy.

Some are looking for a trophy to display their ability to snag something pretty/shiny, you are not an object.

Some are driven by hormones or lust, not genuine agape love, you are not a pleasure center-you are a person.

Some are lonely or trying to fill a void for their lost girlfriend, dead wife, divorce-you are not the back up plan.

Some actually want to attempt to love you the way Jesus loves you. This is what you want. You won’t know if there is no inquiry from God.

People are trained to put their best foot forward to get what they want, then the act stops once they acquire their target. Men around me have confirmed they put forth mega effort to win a woman over, some pretended to like what she liked, faked interest in her hopes/dreams and after I do or physical relationship they stopped the pretending. One guy said, “Yeah, I got her now. Those flowers and dates were to get her.”

2. If a man or person wants to be with you or connect with you, they will not let you do all the work or initiation. Level of interest is directly tied to level of effort. Zero effort (you do all the work), minimal interest. Just enough effort to keep you lingering, minimal interest. Those who desire connection, pursue connection.

I grow tired of, “I think he likes me but I never hear from him, or he fell off the grid.” Ummmm…he’s not that into you. If he were interested, ignoring you would not be an option.

3. If you are kind, some men view this as an invitation to date or interest or flirting.

God tells us to treat men like brothers in Christ, so this can be challenging if you are just trying to obey the Lord and he is thinking, “She wants me.” So, I try to limit kindness to men to what is:

1. Public (and not frequent).

2. Neutral, not too affirming.

3. What includes others so they see they are not singled out.

4. Group activities, not one on one.

If a guy is married, the boundaries are even higher. If I have a gift or encouragement it goes through their wife. If I do not know their wife, I seek to know her. I do not go on lunches or meet ups with married men. I do not have long conversations about my inner world nor let them talk to me about their marriage or inner world. They have a wife. I am not interested in anyone’s husband.

4. When they show you who they are, believe them. Watch what they DO, not just what they SAY.

Lots of abusive men show red flags before they act out. Women are sometimes conditioned wrongly that they can change a man or their love will change him. No! No! No! I repeat again NO!

It is not our job to try to change anyone! That’s control and manipulation. What he shows you, especially if you follow step one (ask God to show you who he is) is what you are dealing with, so act accordingly.

I had a guy pursuing me once who had a great resume on paper. We seemed perfect for each other. Then I put prayer on him. His mask fell off and God showed me how everything he did was an act. He was one person at church and someone else outside church. I talked to him and he confessed out of his own mouth that he just put on an act and religious show for women to hopefully get them to fall for him and compromise. Ummmmm no! No man is worth compromise. I thanked God for answering my prayer and sent him packing. I did not stay in that situation and try to make him my project. Nope! Bye Feliciano…praying for you from a distance.

5. Men are people, not projects. They were created to loved, respected, and not a Jesus substitute.

The only perfect man is Jesus…pause for my heart to swoon. To expect a human man to be Jesus is ludicrous. Christian men are called to abide in Jesus and imitate Jesus, not be Jesus. The only Savior and Lord is Jesus. Wrong teaching of husband as the head (some is just plain idolatry masked in religious terms) has made men to be like demi gods to women. This leads to gross disappointment and does not please God. God is God, you shall have no others gods beside Him.

It is also not a woman’s job to try to make a man Jesus. Let Jesus be Jesus, let God mold man into His image. God is better at being God than we are.

6. Pay attention to his interactions with you. Does he inquire of you or just talk about himself or what you can do for him? Selfish people make horrible partners. HORRIBLE!

If he only talks about himself, how you can bless or serve him, and how pretty you are…RED flag. You may be the pretty/shiny toy he is looking to play with or a trophy. Love involves inquiry of the other person and listening. Love involves caring about the other person, not just yourself. Love involves giving, not consuming.

The root of all sin is selfishness. I becomes greater than God. If a man is grossly selfish, he will hurt you because his greatest concern is himself.

7. Let God hold your heart until is is wise to give it away.

Maybe we all have met the girl or woman who goes on one date and starts planning her wedding. Pause speedy Gonzalez! Who is this person? Talk to God. Put the brakes on creating a fantasy relationship with someone because you must live with the REALITY of them. Not every guy needs access to your heart or all your time. What is easy is not usually appreciated.

8. If you see abuse of others, you are not the special one he won’t abuse. How did he treat other women? How does he treat his mother? Servers? Those who can do nothing for him.

Pay attention! Walk in love and wisdom. If you see him abusing animals, cursing people out, having fits of rage, punching walls, picking fights, disrespecting his mother or other women-you may be next.

Men, people in general, with low self esteem can be very abusive. They can not love you as they love themselves if they hate themselves. If he struggles with healthy love of self, you won’t be loved either.

9. Don’t isolate your friends and family from your life.

Sometimes those connected to you see what you don’t see. Isolation is a key tool of abusers. Get the person away from anyone who may see the mistreatment and try to get the abuse victim help. Stay connected to people who truly know you and love you; pray and listen.

10. You are NOT responsible for his sin or lust.

I believe in modesty, just for me. I do not have my chest out, wear skimpy clothes, etc…I also understand if someone has a lust problem, you can be covered from head to toe and they find something to lust over. Women are not responsible for the actions of men. Our culture blames women and it’s wrong.

If he cheats on you, it was his choice.

If he hits you, it was his choice.

If he rapes someone, it was his choice.

If he abandons his responsibilities, it was his choice.

Since the Garden of Eden women have been blamed for the choices of men. Well no. She made me sin does not fly with Jesus. So ladies, yes use wisdom, act godly…yet know you are not to blame for the choices of other people.

11. Beware of sneak a date or those who use “God told me you’re my spouse.”

God is not manipulative, nor the author of confusion. God tells the truth. Often the sneak a date is, “I will pretend I need something, want something, or just want to be friends when the motives are otherwise.” This can be deception. Honesty says, “I like you. I want to get to know you better. Would you be interested in that?” Adults communicate their intentions.

If God did say, “This would be a great spouse for you.” God is smart enough to tell the other person and it will benefit both people-not just one. God also lets us choose.

I have had several guys try the sneak a date or God told me. No. I am not going that road. I pray and if God says no, I say no. Why? God knows the end from the beginning. If God says no there is reason.

12. “Prophecy” is not a good standard for picking a spouse, look at how they treat you.

Over the years met several women given words about their spouse and that guy was a complete jerk to them. God is not cruel nor a poor matchmaker. If it is truly a word from God, His choice, that person won’t treat you like garbage. God is GOOD. There is a misunderstanding that God wants us in bad relationships. He does not!

I have been given at least a dozen words about “This is your husband,” mainly from women. All from women who want me to be married because it is a social club in Christianity. None of those men were right for me. Not one! Run Forrest RUN!!!

If you are having dreams or impressions about one particular guy, you may have a soul tie with them. Break the soul tie and heart entanglement.

If he is treating you poorly and you keep having words he is the one, examine the voice speaking to you. God is not the author of confusion or mistreatment. Demonic spirits can try to set up bad unions. Test every voice and see if it’s of God.

13. Understand you marry into a family, not just that person.

If they have kids, a broken family, they become your family. You are not just marrying a person, you get their family too.

14. If you are interested in marriage, talk about money (is their credit jacked up), gender roles (some in Christian culture have some special ideas about gender roles), expectations, destiny, calling, raising kids, etc…

Focusing on chemistry is silly considering you are partnering with someone to build a life. He’s so hot or she’s so hot doesn’t fly when they don’t pay the bills on time, are a slob, have bad credit…

15. Men have feelings too and some deep fears of rejection.

It is sometimes masked with anger, yet men have all the feelings women have and some more deeply. Men are sometimes conditioned not to feel. Our actions as women wound and hurt men. Treat them how you want to be treated. If he steps out to pursue and you are not interested, treat him with respect, honor, and dignity.

16. There are some amazing men out there.

I have met them, have some as friends, and even dated a few. Yes there are some bad apples. There are some great ones too.

17. Pray for men.

Our culture bombards men with images that are ungodly that tell them manhood is about control, power, violence, and sexual immorality. Truly manhood was and is best represented in Jesus; love, humility, purity, service, kindness, and compassion.

18. Be a good friend to men and set boundaries.

It is possible to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex. Understand though the time and sharing can create a bond in the soul. Use wisdom.

19. If you desire marriage, examine is this person really good friend to me. Friendship lasts longer than butterflies.

20. If he does not respect your boundaries, he does not respect you.

If you say no, don’t do that, or I don’t like that…and he keeps doing it or pressing the envelope, he does not respect or love you. Love respects a no. It does not pressure for more. Satan is pushy. God is respectful.

21. Men respond to actions.

I have noticed this at work. Nagging is futile. Saying, “If this is not done by this time or this follows,” and following through with actions is far more effective.

22. Men were created to serve, not be served.

Found many men like to help, they are wired to help and serve. All followers of Jesus are to serve. When women do everything for a man, it is more crippling than empowering. Let him help. Let him serve. Let him work it out without trying to be Jehovah jr.. Let him problem solve and provide input.

I have heard women say, “The more I do for him, the worse he treats me,” well you took his opportunity away to be a blessing. Our culture has reversed the roles so women do everything and men are served. This does not cultivate love. The one who invests the most, gives the most is the one who begins to love deeply. If women invest too much, they end up entangled. Both are to serve. So let him serve.

Hope this helps someone, somewhere.

Love in Christ,

Erin Lamb

Relational Lessons Learned Part I

Morning Devotion: Some things are a blessing, others are a lesson. God desires we have mutually loving, respectful, and life giving connections.

Over the years in ministry, life, and relationships I gathered some lessons learned. I shared some of these these with a buddy yesterday. I hope they bless someone else.

In Christian culture it is taught quite a bit to love others, put others first, love God. Not as much time is spent talking about healthy boundaries, how to guard your heart, what obstacles you will face as a leader or in relationships, what to do with abusive people (and no just pretending they are not violating love does not work-they need boundaries and consequences), or that God wants you loved well too.

Relational Lessons Learned:

1. Watch people for a year and put prayer on them (God show me their heart towards me-when God does, pay attention).

2. When people show you who they are, believe them.

3. Limit your inner circle to those you have prayed over and seen them demonstrate God love.

4. Understand at any time your inner circle can change.

5. Place all faith in God not people.

6. Place all confidence in God not people.

7. When someone shows you they do not care about you, believe them, do not look at words-look at actions.

8. Trust your instincts and listen to Holy Spirit.

9. Some relationships are for just a season and you need to understand when they are over they were just temporary.

10. Don’t try to make an associate into a friend; don’t assume a ministry assignment is a real friendship.

11. Don’t be quick to call everyone friend, examine them first.

12. Don’t let people just have free reign of your schedule. I did this with A few people. When they got busy it was like, “See ya!” This was my fault. I should have guarded my time better and NOT given them so much access to my life, thoughts, etc…they should have been need to know only people.

13. Understand it’s not always wisdom to lead your friends in ministry, some are better suited under someone they do not view as a peer. The greatest dishonor I have experienced in ministry has come from those who claimed to be my friend. Strangers often treat you better.

14. Don’t expect your friends to stick up for you, you stick up for yourself (set boundaries), and ask God for help.

15. Guard your heart, and don’t let everyone inside it. If someone is wreckless, you can love them without giving them full access to you. Use wisdom.

16. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

17. Understand that not everyone wants you to win, and if you become successful, some may turn on you.

18. Understand culture says people of color should be at the bottom, so if you rise, there are haters.

19. Keep God as your best friend.

20. Pursue God for all needs and wants and relationships.

21. Understand only those who have received God’s love for themselves can love you.

22. When or if people attack you, understand their greatest inner turmoil is within and attacking you is a means to handle low self worth, insecurity, and a flawed attempt to feel more powerful.

23. Understand just because a person is gifted, anointed, and can flow with Holy Spirit sometimes does not mean they possess the character of Jesus. Character is costly and involves intimacy with God.

24. Understand everyone is in process, even you. God is at work in those yielded to Him. Someone can buck God and walk in the flesh. In the flesh there is no holiness. Extend grace and walk in wisdom.

25. Loving difficult people does NOT mean you need to be best friends with them or give them VIP access. Use wisdom.

26. People make time for what they value. If they value you, they will make time-even if it’s a 15 second text message. Do not buy into the lie of busy. For some you may be the back up plan or on call prayer buddy. When they have a crisis they come find you. They value what you do, not you personally. Don’t mistake being needed for being loved. Love gives.

27. Value yourself the way God does and you will attract more people who value you too.

28. Ask God for His best yes in friendships, relationships.

29. Trust is developed over time. Don’t let people try to force you into trusting them when they have not demonstrated they are trustworthy.

30. Ask God for wisdom and discernment. Wisdom is a life preserver. Discernment lets you know what is right and almost right.

Once again I hope this helps someone. Some things I wish someone had told me instead of having to walk it out and learn the hard way.

Don’t Settle

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The best relationships evolve when two people know their own worth.

God places a high value on each human being. We are called to live at peace with all people, if possible. This does not mean that we are suitable for every person. Some relationships are not the best matchup for us. We can try to force them, waste years praying for change, or use wisdom and cease settling.

I would like to break this down…

I am a direct communicator and do not enjoy games, flakiness, hot then cold, nonsense. I mean what I say. I am not unstable, flakey, nor do I play games. I am not a good fit for unstable people. I am not a great fit for grossly insecure people. I actually like who I am in Christ and have zero desire to diminish who I am to appeal to those with low self esteem. God invited me to love myself, then love my neighbor as I love myself.

I have had numerous people tell me to settle in romantic relationships and friendships. I do not wish to because of what I know of God.

Scripture tells me the following:

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen,~Ephesians 3:20-21.

If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”~Luke 11:11-13.

The only perfect person and perfect relationship is with Jesus. There are synergy relationships and divine alignments that bring out the best in us, not the worst. There are relationships that complement us and add value. There are relationships that are Godsends. Then there are those that seem to be aligned with hell.

If we seek God before we date, before we become best friends, before taking the job, before the business or ministry alignment-it can save us loads of heartache. Will everything be perfect, no. Can we bypass some hell on earth by asking God to align us with Ephesians 3:20 relationships, yes.

The people I know who are divorced or in abusive or not so great relationships either settled, rushed in because of peer pressure-desire for sex-age-desperation, or did not seriously seek God about their choices. Hormones are not to be trusted. God can be trusted. Lonliness is a very poor decision making tool. It is far better to be alone with God than partnered with the wrong people.

God withholds nothing good from us according to Psalm 84.

For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows [present] grace and favor and [future] glory (honor, splendor, and heavenly bliss)! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly,~Psalm 84:11.

God is good. God withholds nothing good. If we are not seeking the manifestation of good in relationships we may either not be ready, choosing poorly, or not understanding the timing of God.

God exists outside of time and is patient. We as humans can be impatient. Impatience can lead to poor choices.

Settling for less than God’s best does not leave us fulfilled. It leaves us hungry and depleted. Dating out of lonliness or desperation can lead to devastation. Choosing someone just for physical intimacy or to meet a need is selfish. Nothing good springs from selfishness. Marrying someone just to check a box and fit into Christian culture is not prudent. Settling for crumbs does not leave us full. It leaves up empty.

God intended to meet our primary needs for love, security, identity, and intimacy. If God is first and we know who we are in Him, we will not settle for less than His most excellent best. It is not arrogance, it is alignment with what is God sent.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning,~James 1:17.

There are still some great men and women in the world! If a person seeks God, they can be set up by God for divine friendships, divine marriages. Why settle for what we can get on our own when God offers custom relationships?

The more we love ourselves and stand confident in who God created us to be, the more we attract people with the same confidence and value for us. Those who do not love themselves cannot love others. We attract what we believe and manifest. Manifest low self esteem, attract those with low self esteem. One of the greatest gifts is actually choosing to believe what God has said about us.

Biblical examples of divine alignments…

Johnathan and David had a divine relationship. Ruth and Naomi had a divine relationship. Ruth and Boaz had a divine marriage. Those who seek God are blessed.

Papa God I bind all settling and seeking relationships with the wrong people. Help us also to set boundaries ad see ourselves as you do. Protect each person on this blog from choosing unwisely. Heal soul wounds from bad choices and bad relationships. Help each one not to settle for less than your most excellent best! Set up divine appointments for your best friendships, best relationships. Highlight destiny people and destiny relationships. Block the counterfeits. In Jesus powerful name, Jesus.

Seek to Add Value (Single & Following Jesus Part XII)

What does it mean to add value?

We live in a world of gimmie and bless me and serve me. In an ideal world, one with Jesus at the center, there would be lots of, “How can I serve you? How can I bless you? What about you?

If we all looked out for each other, every person would come into relationships looking for ways to help and bless the other person. There would be no one sided relationships, abuse, infidelity, dishonesty, selfishness, consumers in relationships, gross hurt or unnecessary pain. Utopia right?

The only perfection this side of eternity is found in Jesus. We are not perfect, He is. We can pursue abiding in His love so others around us are blessed.

When you and I set our minds on being a blessing it gives us the opportunity to love. Love is not selfish.

Love serves. Jesus did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom.

The example of Jesus does not mean we offer up to everyone endless pouring out. Why? The one who gives the most is the one who ends up attached and loving.

It is important to use wisdom with our attachments. Though we are encouraged to just give and give, pour out and pour out…if you do not use wisdom you can end up having your heart shredded.

God intended for relationships to be reciprocal and involve commitment, not be one sided. God intended for both people to be loved and stewarded well. Love is supposed to be safe.

The level of access someone has to us should increase with the level of commitment.

Adding value is not giving everyone equal access to your heart.

Before you give your heart away, is the other person trustworthy to steward your heart. What is this person’s commitment to you? Casual, then their access should reflect that. Growing, they show you they are trustworthy, then a bit more knowing. Closeness/committed, then a bit more with the deepest intimacy (emotional, spiritual, or physical) happening inside of marriage. Some share way too much while dating to have their hearts broken. Engagement implies commitment, it is not marriage. Dating is not engagement. How much are you giving away?

Adding value is not sex outside marriage!

Some give their bodies away with zero commitment thinking giving without commitment will lead to love. Well, giving your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit away without an eternal covenant (commitment) is actually sin and not demonstrating self value. It’s like having a 1,000,000 car and giving people free rides. They have no plan on caring for the car, they just enjoy the ride. Our bodies are MORE valuable than a car. Would you give someone you just met a billion dollars? Probably not if you do not know someone. Yet movies show people climbing in and out of bed like it’s nothing.

Sex is more than a physical act, it joins two people in the soulish and spiritual realm. You are saying, “Whatever is in you, I invite into me.” Two people link in body, soul, flesh. God designed sex to unite people for life. His motivation was love (giving, knowing, intimacy), not lust (taking, self pleasure). The only closer connection is between God and born again believers where His Spirit lives in us.

Why use boundaries with giving or giving everyone equal access to us? The giver has the most invested. This means you do not treat boyfriends and girlfriends like husbands and wives. There are certain parts of our lives that are off limits. There are boundaries we need to have in place to prevent heart entanglements without commitment, emotional attachment too soon, over-giving, oversharing, etc. There is wisdom in what we give to friends as well.

The goal is to look at each relationship and see what you can bring to add value. This can consist of:

  • Encouragement
  • Listening
  • Kindness
  • Asking, “How are you?” and caring about the answer
  • Being honest
  • Being present
  • Devoting some time (texting and emails are not the same as quality time in person)
  • Inquiring about another person’s life
  • Caring about what interests the other person
  • Offering to help with something
  • Supporting something they care about
  • Loyalty
  • Initiating instead allowing all contact to be one sided
  • Being honest about what you like and don’t like
  • Not pretending (some pretend while getting to know someone that they like certain things or they are someone else-be the real you!)

If we ask God, He will show us ways to add value. Different people have different likes and dislikes. I may love something that someone else dislikes. The goal is to be on the lookout for what blesses someone else.

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others,~Phil 2:4.

This means we also do not go into relationships as consumers. Over the years I have met several men who came with their wife list. They were checking off boxes. They were not looking for how to be a blessing, they were looking to be blessed. They were not looking to serve, they were seeking to be served. It was not about love; it was about selfishness. As long as I appealed to their flesh and met a few criteria I could (in their minds) be wooed or bought into relationship. Like a car they saw something they wanted and desired to purchase. If they could flash enough money or try to charm me, then magically I would fall for them and sign up for a life of servanthood. Ummmmm no. They had little plans to serve or love like Jesus.

Marriage is supposed to be about two people loving and serving each other. People are not objects we buy to please us. Our world suffers greatly because things are being loved and people used. People are to be loved. Love seeks to serve, help, support, give, invest, and add value. Does your person of interest care about adding value or are you an object they seek to obtain to please them? Do they take any interest in your life? Or is it all about them?

Let me tell you an important truth, selfish people hurt others. If you have grossly selfish friends or a grossly selfish mate you will experience pain and deep hurt. Do NOT think if they are selfish in the beginning you are going to change that. God changes selfish hearts, we are not God.

My encouragement to every person is to seek to add value and look for those who add value. It is not selfish to wish for a mate who actually cares about you, for who you are-not because they are lonely, lusting, trying to fill a void. Adding value is not about money, it’s about genuine love. You and I were created to be loved!

Love,

Erin Lamb