Community (Single & Following Jesus Series Part I)

As promised, embarking on this journey of loving life as an unmarried person. 

I know this is foreign to some, yet you can be blissfully happy with just God and friends. People ask me, “When are you going to settle down? Don’t you want kids? We do not want you to miss out!” 

I think to myself I do not base contentment or happiness off marriage or having kids. My joy comes from God. Life with God is the most incredible adventure.  If I never marry, you will find me in roaring laughter with God, probably rocking orphans in my arms. 

Redefine Success: 

Our culture sees marriage as attaining status or success. God sees success as being faithful and fruitful where He plants you. 

I worked my way through two engineering degrees, founded/run a community service (outreach to the poor) with God, serve the poor, mentor/disciple women, and oversee 7 ministries. My time with God, friends, family is awesome. I have been all over the world and have freedom with God to do anything! I am content. I am quite content. God is amazing. 

Yeah right? Some say. Yet I have met numerous couples miserable and married. Despite the love stories on tv, Hallmark cards, or Disney movies, not every story leads to happliy ever after. 

Relationships require effort. When you combine two imperfect people there can be some conflict. There is also a divided focus: family and ministry. Family is to be the primary ministry. The ability to just pick and go is not as easy. Fasting means talking to your spouse. 

An unmarried person has one focus-please the Lord. 

Paul’s word to the unmarried: 1 Corinthians 7:25-38

But Marriage was God’s Idea!!:

Covenant and community was (is) God’s idea. God has great ideas. The first relationship God showed us was the Godhead. In the beginning they were together. Then we see Adam and God, God and Eve…then Adam and Eve. God had community before mankind was created. God is our community. God also adopts us into His family so we have billions of siblings in Christ. God deposits His Spirit so we have 24/7 companionship. We have full access to God 24/7. 

We are never truly alone. 

I desire for unmarried believers to enjoy life, instead of waiting to enjoy life if/when a mate shows up. I am not against marriage. I am pro enjoying God and living life to the fullest. 

We need community. 

Community does not have to be a spouse and children, though it can be. 

I have several unmarried friends without families. For holidays, we celebrate together. Yes, I spend time with my natural born family too. I make time for those who have nowhere to go on holidays. I believe God intended for the church (believers) to invite others into their families. My parents taught us believers are family.Family includes others. 

We are kind champions, “You can sit with us.” 

Finding a tribe (community) that treats you and loves you like Jesus is worth the investment. I repeat over and over, you are not alone. There are supposedly 2.2 billion Christians on this planet…Over half are unmarried. There is a community out there for you. You can also cultivate your own; hobby group, bible study, fitness pals. 

God sets the lonely in families, His very own family (from Psalm 68:6). 

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure,~Ephesians 1:5. 

Papa thank You for giving us Jesus and Holy Spirit. Thank You we are never alone. Thank You that You include us in Your family. We were chosen, adopted, loved! We are so deeply loved by You. I pray this series helps so many who feel like outcasts or lonely or misunderstood to feel Your great love for them. I ask for healthy, loving community to be a part of their lives. For those desiring marriage, I ask for contentment in You until it comes. I ask for hearts and lives prepared for all you have to offer! In Jesus powerful name. Amen. 

You are so deeply loved! 

Erin Lamb 


9 thoughts on “Community (Single & Following Jesus Series Part I)

  1. I agree that community is important but community actually is really hard to find, especially if you live in a small town or are not financially independent. I’m a grad student who has to go to classes on weekends and my church is big but more family oriented. People just go to church and leave. I feel like community takes two- the individual to put in the effort and the church to be open to receiving these people.

    • Thanks for your feedback Rosemary. Yes it can be hard. I found asking God for community was the first step and then cultivating community helped too. Instead of waiting to be invited (not stating you are doing this), I invited people places. I am praying God knits you in a loving tribe of believers. He is so faithful. God loves you oh so much! Lord I ask you bring in amazing, loving people to invest in your beloved daughter. She is so loved. Let them come with hearts seeking to love and build community. In Jesus powerful name.

      • Well my parents plan on selling our home because we are financially unstable so I can’t invite people to our home.

      • And I do invite people to eat and such but they don’t really reciprocate. Everyone is busy with their own lives.

  2. Erin, thank you for writing these words. So many single of us, some of us content, others just wondering if he/she are the ones. Thank you for prayer – this is heavy in many single Christians heart’s. You said it perfectly – contentment, contentment with God and only God. You know before I received Christ into my heart I actually thought that a male, a significant other could bring me happiness, but after being heartbroken a few times I realized that the only One Who could fill that void, bring lasting joy is our Father God. My prayer is for all single who desire to be married to find contentment in God. There are times that I wonder if I am to be married, it is a desire of my heart, but I want God’s Will for my life and I know without a shadow of a doubt that only He could bring lasting joy, peace, fulfillment, happiness – only He. Thank You Papa God for Your love.

    Thank you Erin, you are a blessing


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