The Bible says, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you,” not “Seek first a spouse.”
Marriage, what I call covenant, was initiated by God. He saw Adam had a need. Eve was part of the solution. Adam did not have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit like born again believers have today. Therefore, the unmarried person today has an advantage over the unmarried person before the death and resurrection of Christ. A person can thrive with God. God+Nothing=Everything.
Having the Holy Spirit means a believer has full access to God, they have the the Comforter living on the inside. They are never alone. They have been grafted into an eternal family, and can have spiritual sons and daughters. They are not without family, they are part of the family of God.
Sometimes people seem perplexed I have joy without a spouse or children. In God’s presence is fullness of JOY! He is my joy, not people or the things He gives. I have more FUN with God than with anyone else. If you do not believe me, hang out with me sometime. It can be quite the party.
“You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore,”~Psalm 16:11.
There are so many things that can be done as an unmarried person. Here is my list…
1. Unhindered devotion to God.
No one loves better than God. I can not state this enough. An unmarried person can have more time alone with God, more time devoted to fasting/prayer/intercession. More time spent serving God and others.
2. Freedom to travel the world.
My mum told me to go see the world (I like other cultures). It has been a blast-Mexico, Puerto Rico, Australia, Brazil, Canada…etc.
3. Deeper friendships.
One thing I have seen shift with married friends is their commitment to deep friendships outside their spouse. You may have been a best friend, but sometimes you end up someone they call when they are having a baby or need help or are bored or just want to make sure you do not sever the relationship completely. Some you never hear from again.
An unmarried person has more time (sometimes) to devote to loving, encouraging, investing, and caring for other people-truly being an invested friend.
4. Only one to check in with…
If I desire to do something, “Buy property, start a business, move across the country…,” I do not have to chat with anyone besides God. Eventhough I am in covenant with God, He offers me more freedom than anyone. He has never tried to control, minimize, limit, or push my desires into the ground. I have never been one to like control or domination. Nor do I wish to limit someone else. I have a fully functional brain and will, I like using them. I wish this for others too. Marriage means two get to choose. Unmarried offers less restrictions. Not saying it’s better, I am saying it is something to enjoy. 🙂
5. Identity rooted in Christ, not another person.
I am big on knowing who we are in Christ and not being defined by labels. Who are you in Him? Only the covenant with Him is eternal. “Oh I am so and so’s wife or husband,” awesome, “Who are you? What makes you tick?”
I am in covenant with God. When people ask who I am, I reply, “Erin Lamb,” not, “Servant of Jesus.” Serving Jesus is pure joy, yet He is in covenant with Erin Lamb. I have an identity, name, personality, hobbies, desires, and passions that are unique to me. He is not me and I am not Him. We are linked, one in spirit. We are not the same person. He does not try to be me. I am not trying to be Him. I seek to abide in Him so His character and fruit of the Spirit manifest through my life. It is still a unique expression. I am not a third limb hanging off Jesus.
I have heard people say, “I just want to belong to someone.” Are you saved? If so, you belong to God. There is no human marriage in heaven. One must bypass trying to find identity, security, and purpose outside of God. Why? Anything or anyone we use for identity that is not Him is an idol. Idols enslave and invite evil spirits to torment.
God gave relationships to complement, not complete us. Spouses can pass away or leave. God never does.
Okay so when I get home, there is no one waiting to talk to me or ask me for favors or seek me for something. I can just rest. Nap, I think I will take one. No makeup, yoga pants, hair a hot curly mess kind of day-no one cares. Disinterested in human interaction, that’s fine…on the couch I go with a book in hand and blanket. Don’t feel like being hugged or touched, do not have to. Though my life is full, there is time to rest. Introverts like rest. 🙂
The purpose of the post is to hopefully inspire unmarried people to seek God for identity, love, and purpose. I founded a charity/outreach 4 years ago with God. I purchased my first home with God. I wrote my first book with God. I travel the world with God. I paint, create, sing, and write music with God. I will be starting my own business with God. I take cooking classes with God. I disciple and teach with God. I rest with God. I have exceeding joy in God and with God. God completes me. Everyone else is a complement and secondary.
Do not sit around waiting on a magical appearance of a person to live life to the fullest. Live baby live! Thrive baby thrive!!!