Myth: Church Attendance=Disciple of Jesus (Relationship Series) 

  
I’ve heard many people say, “But I met them at church or on a Christian dating site, they must be great.” 

We have been told by God over and over in His word to test spirits, test prophetic words, assess the character of prophets, and to look at the fruit in the lives of those we will connect our lives to. 

The Bible does not say, “You will know them by their church attendance. You will know them by their denomination.” 

Jesus said, “You will know My disciples by their love for one another,” (John 13:34-35). He said, “We know a tree by the fruit it bears.

It’s imperative to discern the character of a person. 

I’m an observer. I watch people. I don’t watch them to judge them. I watch them because I’m a scientist. I observe and collect data. 

I’ve met people in worship gatherings who said all the right things, sang beautifully, operated in the gifts of the Spirit; they did not possess righteous character. Some cheated on their spouses. Some lied. Some did horrible things. Their character did not align with the character of Jesus. 

Our character is refined over time and through relationship with God. We are becoming like Him in character through relationship and over time. 

Some things to think about (Disclaimer, follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. These are things to think about not rules to follow. Each person needs to have their own hearing from and confirmation from God.): 

1. Can anyone else vouch for this person’s relationship with God? 

2. How does this person treat the weak, poor, or unfortunate? 

3. How does this person handle their mistakes? Blame everyone else or accept responsibility. 

4. Do they tell the truth? 

5. Are they concerned about the wellbeing of others? 

6. How do they treat those who can offer them nothing? 

7. How do they handle stress? Disappointment? 

8. How do they handle money? 

9. If they’ve dated before would their ex say they were a blessing? 

10. How do they talk about other people? Putting down or building up. 

11. Are they faithful to keep their word? 

12. Are they growing with God? 

13. How close or deep is their relationship with God? (The vertical affects the horizontal). 

14. Are they helpful? 

15. Do they reciprocate? Do they initiate care and concern?

16. Are they discipling or assisting anyone else in becoming like Jesus?

17. Are they trustworthy? Could you trust them with your secrets, with the opposite sex, with your bank information…

18. How do they treat your friends and/or family? 

19. Do they try to make amends and easily forgive? 

20. Have you spent time to see the seasons of their life? People show you their best when they want to make a good impression. Have you been with them enough to see how they handle challenges? 

The character of a person outweighs the physical, emotional, and friendship connection. Those things are important, they do not trump character. Looks fade. Studies have shown after 7 years the pheromones that drive you crazy begin to lose their punch. Hence the 7 year itch. Emotional connections can deepen or fade. Many affairs start off as emotional affairs. Friendships can grow or be severely damaged by losing trust. If the person does not have noble character, the other components can fall flat. 

Only Jesus is perfect. It is not a quest for perfection. It is an investigative look into the character of a person. Before you say, “I do,” it’s good to investigate, “Who are you? Who are you really?” 

As stated in so many posts, I pray, “God show me who this person really is?” I pray, watch and pray. He always answers this prayer. Without fail God answers this prayer. 

Best wishes to you! 

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day! ♥️💯 You are so deeply loved. 

Erin