Choosing God’s Best 

Do you have God’s vision for your life? Do you know why you were born? Does the person you’re romantically interested in share that vision? Are you headed in the same direction? Hopefully towards God. Are you on the same page or hoping to get there after I do? Are you accepting the person as is or hoping you can mold them into what you think you need or want? Are you there to give or help or take? Is this God’s best or what’s readily available?

What’s the God given vision for your life:

I was one of those strange kids who was always planning and executing. I had quite the adventure going on underneath my parents dining room table. I mean I’d spend hours creating by myself or working on a project or reading. 

I know who I am and truly believe I have a somewhat grasp on why I am here on earth. My life vision from God involves taking the Gospel to the Nations, discipling others so they can walk as Jesus walked, writing books/music that “hopefully” bring Him great glory. I have a passion to represent His love and power in the earth. I’m a worshipper. I was born to worship Him, to bring Him glory. I wake up early to worship Him and end the day worshipping God. I have a vision of reaching the Nations with His love, His word, and His healing. This vision drives me. And His great love. The book blog is already reaching over 120 countries with the word. Each day reaching people all over the world. 

So when I meet men who want a sidekick, a silent partner, a woman with no vision/ambition, who will simply drop any call God has on her life to silently support them (wrong understanding of the word helper used for woman and Holy Spirit in the Bible), I must say, “I don’t.

I think of the strong women in the Bible who submitted to God and changed Nations (Deborah, Esther). They obeyed God rather than man. They made their first allegiances to God. That’s my desire. For God to get the greatest glory from my life. He’s first. 

He’s a Good, Good Father!

I think God is good. Don’t you agree? 

I think He joins two people who can both fulfill the call on their lives. Maybe not at the same time all the time, yet I have seen it and it’s beautiful. God never intended for woman to be the slave of man. The word head used as man is the head of woman means, man is where she came from like the head of a river. God pulled Eve out of Adam. It was never to mean than man becomes God and woman has no purpose other than wife/mum (yes noble/good). Women were prophets, judges, followers of Jesus, taught men, evangelists…if you want a great book that dissects Paul’s letters that seem to limit women check out The 10 Lies the Church Tells Women to Keep Them in Bondage by Lee Grady

Even God doesn’t treat people like silent partners or sidekicks. He raises His children up to heavenly places and makes them coheirs with Christ. He empowers His children.  He gives life, and Jesus laid down His life. Jesus doesn’t abuse, dominate, control, silence, bully, or mistreat His Bride. He loves her, and leads as a servant. 

You have a purpose and vision too! 

Even if we don’t have an identical mission; You’ll be a missionary in China. We have the base mission from Jesus. He said: Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. 

We have a base base mission to put God first (not a spouse or family or friend), love God, love ourselves (needed to love the neighbor), love our neighbor as ourselves, make disciples, heal the sick, deliver the oppressed…freely we have received and freely we are to give. 

So if you’re a follower of Jesus and someone comes along and they have no vision, no desire to do what Jesus said, how can the two of you become one and fulfill a mission together? 

I lead teams and one rogue team member sets the team off course. There’s tension, disappointment, and frustration. God is not the author of confusion or chaos.

Joining two lives/two families:

Marriage is a covenant. A joining of two lives, bodies, and a knitting together of souls. If there is not shared vision, there is division. 

So if you’re dating, what’s God’s vision for your Union? How will you fulfill it together? 

If you’re interested in someone, what’s their vision or calling from God? If you are called to travel the world setting up mission bases and they hate traveling, how’s that going to work? 

What’s your vision/plan for parenting/discipling or caring for children, caring for the home, finances, giving, serving God, caring for elderly parents, handling conflict? 

God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we want, what we need, and what we were created for. Truly believe God gives His best to us. No human is perfect, so it’s not about perfection. It’s about God offering what’s a mutual blessing. 

People keep telling me to settle for okay, good, and some not so good. Yet I know my Father, He’s amazing. He knows me and why I was born. He gives GOOD, excellent gifts. He’s no deadbeat Dad. And if I never marry you will find me blissfully happy dancing before my King because I want Him (God) more than anything. 

So my challenge for you is this. 

  • Pray and ask God to send You His very best. 
  • Ask Him to prepare you both to be what’s best for the other person. 
  • Dive deep into intimacy with God. 
  • Let God heal and meet those needs first. 
  • Love God first and most. 
  • And most of all don’t settle for something God wouldn’t be honored to give you. Or marry someone as a project or for their potential (listen to God). 




5 thoughts on “Choosing God’s Best 

  1. I am married and what you explain about the process of matching of vision resonates to some degree with my experience. I am however wondering what would be your take on the situation like the one of Hosea and Gomer. Is there room for a situation where one does not understand how the one they are attracted to is God’s best for them? In a sense, a situation where God’s end only unfolds and not necessarily obvious at the onset?

    • Patrick thanks for commenting. I think the case of Hosea & Gomer is one where God was using the life of Hosea as a sign to His people. It’s the exception, not the rule. The Bible is clear when it says, “Don’t be unequally yoked to unbelievers and how can two be joined together lest they agree.” So it’s truly up to that person to follow what God is telling them to do and what’s in His word. I don’t believe we are to take the case of Hosea to mean mean are to seek out women like Gomer. There are too many other scriptures that point to choosing someone who is pursuing a similar vision & pursuing God.

      I also think in Christian circles there’s over spiritualizing marriage. It’s holy, it’s from God. Yet you also need to take into consideration the practicality too. It takes more than God to join two lives successfully. Example I know of a couple where they both went to church and the man was a believer yet he was spending irresponsibly. If they had talked about money before “I do” it may have saved them heartache. I think God likes unified vision, not division & confusion. If two people are going two different ways how can they arrive at the same place. God is good. Everything He does brings about eventual good. If God calls someone to a challenging situation, it’s for a greater good. I don’t think He links people who are not going to compliment each other.

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