A Note to Christian Men

  

I’ve listened to women gripe about men for years. I listen to the men at work gripe about women. Whether we realize it or not the devil targeted relationships from the beginning. He hates love, he hates unity, he hates marriage. God is love. 

While men shake their fists demanding respect and submission, I’ve watched countless women be mistreated/abused by men in the church and celebrated by men in the world. The rates of domestic violence, spiritual abuse, neglect, etc in Christian marriages is well beyond disturbing. 

I wrote this note to hopefully give men a glimpse of what it’s like to be a woman who loves Jesus interacting with them…I lead women and listen to them. I’m also a woman following Jesus. 

It’s long, but wanted to share. My note to Christian men…I’m praying for men quite a bit. Women too..Here goes. ūüôŹūüŹľ

Jesus loved women, empowered them, treated them well, and maintained purity. It’s possible. 

It’s necessary for men to love women with the love of Jesus (agape). If Christian men don’t, there are multitudes of men who don’t love God offering support, encouragement, affirmation, friendship, asking for dates and marriage, and pursuing Christian women. 

Please don’t treat us poorly or ignore us because you believe if you’re nice to us we are going to fall for you. Every woman isn’t desperate or after you. Some of us are simply trying to obey the command of Jesus to love you the way He does, as a brother in Christ. 

Please treat us the way you’d treat God’s most prized possession. We represent half of the nature of God. We were created in His image (Genesis 1:27). 

Please treat us the way you’d want someone to treat your mother or sister or daughter. You know “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

Please know that men who don’t love Jesus are pursuing us, telling us we are beautiful/valuable while you’re ignoring us in fear we will get the wrong idea about your intentions. 

You can be our friends and allies, pray for and encourage us without it being a romantic gesture. We need your support & love. All love is not Eros (sexual/romantic). God calls us to agape. 

Please know your attempts to not look lustfully after a woman often come off to us that you’re unattracted to us, disinterested, or even disgusted by us. 

Please know we were not simply created to be your sidekick or play things or the mother of your children. Do some in depth studies of how Jesus treated women and the powerful women in the Bible: there were judges (Deborah), queens who led countries (Queen of Sheba, Esther), prophetesses, leaders, women who discipled/taught men. We have a purpose other than wife/mother. 

Please know your flakiness in dating/courting causes massive confusion on our end. It’s possible to get to know someone without putting marriage on the table in the first few meetings. We truly aren’t all desperate to snatch or capture you. 

Please know we need you in community, on the frontlines with us, linked arms with us, serving with us, you represent half of God’s nature. You are needed.

Know we pray for you as your sisters in Christ, want to see you succeed. Please pray for us too!

Love in Christ, 

Erin 

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