A Note to Christian Men


I’ve listened to women gripe about men for years. I listen to the men at work gripe about women. Whether we realize it or not the devil targeted relationships from the beginning. He hates love, he hates unity, he hates marriage. God is love. 

While men shake their fists demanding respect and submission, I’ve watched countless women be mistreated/abused by men in the church and celebrated by men in the world. The rates of domestic violence, spiritual abuse, neglect, etc in Christian marriages is well beyond disturbing. 

I wrote this note to hopefully give men a glimpse of what it’s like to be a woman who loves Jesus interacting with them…I lead women and listen to them. I’m also a woman following Jesus. 

It’s long, but wanted to share. My note to Christian men…I’m praying for men quite a bit. Women too..Here goes. 🙏🏼

Jesus loved women, empowered them, treated them well, and maintained purity. It’s possible. 

It’s necessary for men to love women with the love of Jesus (agape). If Christian men don’t, there are multitudes of men who don’t love God offering support, encouragement, affirmation, friendship, asking for dates and marriage, and pursuing Christian women. 

Please don’t treat us poorly or ignore us because you believe if you’re nice to us we are going to fall for you. Every woman isn’t desperate or after you. Some of us are simply trying to obey the command of Jesus to love you the way He does, as a brother in Christ. 

Please treat us the way you’d treat God’s most prized possession. We represent half of the nature of God. We were created in His image (Genesis 1:27). 

Please treat us the way you’d want someone to treat your mother or sister or daughter. You know “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

Please know that men who don’t love Jesus are pursuing us, telling us we are beautiful/valuable while you’re ignoring us in fear we will get the wrong idea about your intentions. 

You can be our friends and allies, pray for and encourage us without it being a romantic gesture. We need your support & love. All love is not Eros (sexual/romantic). God calls us to agape. 

Please know your attempts to not look lustfully after a woman often come off to us that you’re unattracted to us, disinterested, or even disgusted by us. 

Please know we were not simply created to be your sidekick or play things or the mother of your children. Do some in depth studies of how Jesus treated women and the powerful women in the Bible: there were judges (Deborah), queens who led countries (Queen of Sheba, Esther), prophetesses, leaders, women who discipled/taught men. We have a purpose other than wife/mother. 

Please know your flakiness in dating/courting causes massive confusion on our end. It’s possible to get to know someone without putting marriage on the table in the first few meetings. We truly aren’t all desperate to snatch or capture you. 

Please know we need you in community, on the frontlines with us, linked arms with us, serving with us, you represent half of God’s nature. You are needed.

Know we pray for you as your sisters in Christ, want to see you succeed. Please pray for us too!

Love in Christ, 



Seeing the Father (Life & Teachings of Jesus Part VI)

Jesus the Way to the Father (John 14:5-14)

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.
Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
Jesus outlines for the disciples who He is. He and the Father are one.  There’s no part Jesus that is not in unity with the Father. 

When people say, “Jesus didn’t directly teach on this so it must not be important,” that’s untrue. There no part of Jesus that’s not in agreement with what the Father has already said. He lived the scripture. His sinless life a testimony. He perfectly represented the Father. He came to fulfill the law. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are in unity. If the Father says it is wrong, Jesus is in agreement. If Holy Spirit inspired scriptures say it’s wrong, Jesus is in agreement. What is God continually promoting in the scripture; receiving His love, loving Him…for love fulfills the law. Not earthly love of do what you want. Godly love. Godly love is holy, pure, truthful, righteous, outstanding, forgiving, merciful, submitted to God, and good. 

If we want to know the Father, see the Father, we go through the Son. Jesus perfectly represented the Father and manifested His will on earth. He demonstrated to the world what could be done in and through a person who’s life is perfectly submitted to the Father. 

Following Jesus/Submission to the Father: 

I’ve heard people say doing what God says or instructing people to do what God says is legalism. If so, we must call Jesus legalistic, for He only did what He saw the Father doing & on many occasions told people to deny themselves and follow Him (Matthew 16:24). 

Legalism is trying to obtain righteousness by works, it’s impossible. Obedience is an act of love that is birthed out of relationship and faith in Christ. Because I am in Christ I am made righteousness (given His righteousness). Since I am in Christ I abide in His love, mercy, forgiveness. Since I abide, I submit to Him as Lord of my life and seek to do what He says. Even Jesus said, “Why do you call Me Lord, Lord and not do what I say (Luke 6:46).” God empowers us through His radical love and Holy Spirit to follow Him. 

May we abide in Jesus and see the Father for who He is. He is good! He is kind. He is love. He is holy. He is wonderful. He is just and fair. He is perfect. And He’s worth knowing! 

Father help us know You for who You are and submit our entire lives to You! In Jesus powerful name, amen.