Today I wanted to touch on a topic that causes many people to be insecure. It’s the area of status. Two questions we normally ask adults are, “What do you do?” and “Are you married or seeing someone?” It’s easy even in a Christian environment to place a certain value on people or lack of value based on status (marital or financial).
I recall being in a ministry long ago with mostly married couples. The women when they found out I wasn’t married and did not have children, did not want to engage much with me. I’ve heard married women say, “I feel so sorry for all the single women out there. I’m so glad I’m not single.”
I don’t base my worth on being a wife or mom. However, I know women who do. If it’s not marriage or kids, it’s being successful. Some don’t enjoy life because they have not “arrived” at this place of ultimate status. The desire for marriage is not wrong, placing self worth in the ability to find someone is unhealthy.
Any source of identity or worth outside of Christ is an idol. Marriage, money, titles, or being a parent do not make a person more valuable. I truly believe the divorce rate being so high can partially be attributed to idolatry. God is our source. Anything He gives us in addition to Him is a means to thank Him more. He never intends to take second place to anyone.
You must not have any other god but me, Exodus 20:3.
If you are not the CEO at your company, if you’re not married or you are divorced, if you don’t have children, or the praise of your peers…you are valuable to God. Your worth is determined by who you are in Him. It is not determined by your status.
I’ve heard people teach you are half a person without a spouse, therefore you must get married. Jesus never taught this, nor did Paul. Marriage was God’s idea and when it’s done His way, with Him at the center, it’s a beautiful picture of creation.
Some will never marry, some will be widowed, some will choose service to God over marriage, some have the gift of singleness (read 1 Corinthians 7). Paul wrote the majority of the New Testament as a single person. Jesus never married. I often think if Jesus or Paul walked into our midst today, they would be rejected. Our culture celebrates the rich, beautiful, married, and successful.
Throughout history there are many singles who have done great things for God. Being single didn’t make them special, finding their identity and worth in Christ propelled them into a great destiny.
Whether married, single, tons of kids, no kids, rich, poor, successful or struggling, your worth is only determined by who you are in Christ. Everyone is loved in God’s Kingdom. There are no inferior people. You are so valuable and deeply loved.
May we as the Body of Christ treat every person with respect, honor, and dignity.