God chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will—to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves, Ephesians 1:4-6.
Rejection is something we all have to deal with in life. I have not met a person untouched by rejection. God deals with rejection daily, and I can assure you it does not feel good on His end either. He’s not destroyed by rejection, but it does touch His heart. Read about His relationship with the Isrealites. The old testament is filled with stories of God’s chosen people rejecting Him, building idols to worship instead of Him, complaining about Him, and walking away from Him. God knows intimately what it feels like to be rejected. He is rejected every day, all day. Many love Him, and many refuse Him.
In our own lives rejection comes in many forms. You apply for a job, they say “No.” You try to make a new friend, the person seems uninterested. You may have even put your heart out on the line only to have to other person say, “Not interested.” Your family may reject you. Your peers may reject you.
Rejection hurts. There are no cute quotes that make it feel better. It hurts. It hurts us to be rejected because as the picture shows above we often view rejection as the opposite of approval. Our minds may think, “This company did not approve of me. I was not good enough, my product/art/manuscript/design/ (fill in whatever you want) was not good enough, this person did not or does not want me. I am not valuable…” Or the response may be, “They don’t know what they are missing, I am awesome and they just can’t see it!” Misplaced value makes rejection hurt so much more.
Here’s Key Number 1:
It is NOT always about you! God allows people to make choices. For the most part, people do what’s best for themselves. They are not thinking about you, your feelings, your heart, your ego. Most human beings assess a situation and say, “Will this benefit me? Is this good for me? Is this what I want? Is this what I need?” If the answer to those questions is no, guess what? You may be rejected.
The company that says no, isn’t always rejecting you as a person. You may not fit what they need or have not represented that you do fit what they need. The person who does not want to be your friend, may not have room for more friends or time for more friends or feel compatible with you. They may be going through a rough spot in life and can’t handle more relationships. The person who doesn’t want to date you or marry you, thank GOD they rejected you. Though it hurts up front, it’s so much better than a lifetime of hellish experiences with someone who doesn’t love or want you. To sum it up…it’s not always about you or me. People approve of what best suits themselves. I don’t know many people who sign up for relationships where they see no self benefit, employees that don’t fit what they need or want, or a mate who they cannot benefit from. Human are born self-focused and self-centered.
Here’s Key Number 2:
If you are in Christ, you are already approved of. Your value and worth does not come from what people say, think, feel about you, or how they treat you. God cannot lie. He calls you chosen, loved, and His beloved. It’s not about man’s opinions, it’s about God’s opinions. He determines where everyone will spend eternity.
If our worth is tied up in people’s approval we will never have joy. We will be destroyed by their criticism and rejection. Jesus was hated by people, yet completely approved of by the Father. We live from an already approved of state. So when rejection comes, we cling to our true identity and sense of worth in Christ.
Here’s Key Number 3:
God may be protecting you or have something better up the road. You’ve heard the phrase, “Rejection is God’s protection or redirection.” I agree that sometimes it is. There have been many situations in my own life where a door shut and I didn’t find out why until years later. I was SO thankful for God’s no.
God loves you. He will not give you anything or anyone that will destroy you or your relationship with Him. He also loves to bless His children. So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him, Matthew 7:11.
Rejection will come. I’d love to tell you that everyone will love and adore you. The truth is, in this sinful world, that is not going to happen. Rejection can cause insecurity or it can be used as a tool. Sometimes we are rejected because we need to learn. Maybe that company needed someone with more experience or a particular skill set. Maybe our approach of people causes them away to shy away. I don’t recommend too much introspection, as it can be dangerous. 🙂 I do recommend resting in an identity in Christ, finding worth in who God says we are, and if possible learning something from the experiences. Next post I will give you some examples from my own life and how God helped me navigate through them. You are and will always be DEEPLY loved!