The Single Reality (Part 8)

Purity in an Over-Sexed World

We live in a world that is obsessed with sex. Yes, I said the s word. God created sex and created it to be good. Everything He created is good. The problem comes when anything God intended for good is used outside the boundaries He put in place. He is smarter than we are. He knows that if we are allowed to do whatever we want, it will lead to disaster. He’s right. We have tv shows promoting teens having sex, when they can’t even drive a car or vote. We have people saying, “Do whatever feels right to you. If it feels good do it!” We live in a world where children and women are being held against their wills and are trafficked for sex. People are cheating on their spouses, addicted to pornography, and even children are being exploited. People have access to any and everything, more than any generation in history. All this over saturation has led us to a place of being desensitized. What God created for good is being used for evil.

So, why is God so concerned with purity in thought and deed?

A. Lust is never satisfied. God knows that self indulgence does not lead to freedom, but to bondage. Anything we feed grows. Anything we starve dies. Our appetites are not quenched by indulging in whatever activity our body craves. Hunger creates more hunger. Lust is destructive because it is rooted in selfishness. A person can be single or married and struggle with lust. It is not limited to sexual activities. A person can lust for what someone else has (coveting), or lust for power (pride), or lust for money (greed). It is a strong desire to take for oneself. It is not giving, lust takes.

B. Purity is rooted in love. God is love. Love is not selfish. Love wants what is best for the other person. Love does not reduce a person to an object for pleasure. Love elevates a person to a place of honor. Love seeks to serve, sacrifice, and give. Purity is an essence of God. Purity of thought leads to purity in deeds. Paul encouraged us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to God’s word, 2 Corinthians 10:5. God’s way is the right way whether we want to adhere to it or not. He knows that not choosing His way leads to destruction.

What about my hormones and urges….?

Okay so I’ve been alive long enough to have been asked this question, and I am the oldest sibling with teenage siblings. A sex drive (the desire to have sex with someone) is not evil. It’s what you do with those desires. You can meditate on them and allow them to control your life. Or you can focus on love. Love is willing to wait. Lust wants immediate gratification. Love is patient. Lust is impulsive. Love wants God’s way. Lust wants its own way. God isn’t cruel. He does not give humans a desire to mate and then laugh when they can’t. If asked, He will help any person to maintain self-control. One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control.

Won’t marriage cure my cravings?

Well, it depends. We tell people that getting married solves a lust problem, but it doesn’t. No more than going to a buffet cures an over-eating problem. Lust is a heart issue. If the desire to please self is more important than loving another person, then it will exist even after there’s a proper outlet for it.

How do I remain pure in an over-sexed world?

1. Take inventory of what you are feeding your mind. We spoke of this a few weeks ago. What you feed your mind is what it will meditate on and garbage in=garbage out. Our spirits are affected by what we see and hear.

2. Prayer. I put prayer second because you can pray but if you don’t take inventory of what you’re taking in, you are defeating the purpose. God will help anyone who asks for help. He’s also the most powerful Being in the Universe. He will not allow a person to be tempted without providing a way of escape, 1 Corinthians 10:13.

3. Accountability. Even the strongest person benefits from accountability. Whether you are single, dating, or married, there needs to be someone you can trust with any struggles, who can ask the difficult questions and hold you accountable to purity. It’s one of the benefits of being in community. I recommend a trustworthy, loving person.

4. Boundaries. Sometimes people fall because there are no boundaries. They don’t set boundaries in advance. If they are dating, they just go along with the flow until there’s an “Oops.” Plan ahead to protect the person you are dating. How can you help them remain pure? Love protects. Love isn’t seeking its own pleasure but what is beneficial for the other person.

Father I pray for every person who reads this blog to have a purified heart and mind. Remove anything that would hinder love, pure love. May we have a deeper revelation of Your love and understand the power we have in You to do all things. In Jesus name, Amen.

Next time we will talk about dating…Have a great week friends.

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